My boyfriend relapsed of alcohol about 2 days ago. I need some advise because I reacted the wrong way… to the point where he slept on the couch. I feel awful now and I’ve apologized to him but he’s still upset and don’t blame him. I know he just got out of rehab and that had the structure that he liked and then when he came home… he just got depressed and didn’t do anything and I got frustrated with that too So when I found out… I pretty much lost it… I feel awful..
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I’m sorry I can’t offer you any advice as it sounds a very difficult situation. Well done for not relapsing yourself, you’re now in a position of strength to deal with this which you wouldn’t be had you relapsed. Stay strong, the only thing you can control is your own reactions.
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Thank you. Your absolutely right 
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I think it’s okay that you were frustrated –that’s a valid feeling. Whether you dealt with it the right way or not, I don’t know, but I am proud of you for maintaining your own sobriety. That’s really hard. 
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Thank you 
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Good on you for staying sober!
My husband and I have been in recovery together for awhile now. When he relapsed (multiple times), I wasn’t kind at all. I threw him out of our house. We made a commitment to each other to stay sober. He broke that promise. His choices have consequences. I didn’t feel bad at all over my reaction. I let him back home when he showed that he was putting the work in. His next relapse, if there is one, could be the final for our relationship. I love him but I don’t know how many more I can take. It doesn’t affect my sobriety, I just don’t want alcohol and drugs to be a part of my life or our daughter’s.
Wishing you the best on your journey!
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Hey @Katie92 stay sober no matter what. Im sorry your boyfriend relapsed but dont let him turn your frustration and disappointment into you being the problem. The problem is the addiction and not tending to his sobriety after rehab.
Remember you cant contol him or his addiction so do whats best for you to maintain your sobriety. Theres no right answer here
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There’s a good thread where we share about loved ones with addiction. Lots of helpful shares there.
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Wishing you the best on your journey as well
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For what it’s worth I totally agree but being single and never having experienced that kind of a relationship felt under qualified to say it (but was thinking it 
)
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As much as it hurts to read all of that… You’re right… Before he went to rehab, I packed up all his stuff and put it out in the hallway, and that was when he knew he was going to be kicked out, so that’s why he went to rehab. Then he went to rehab for a month, got out and automatically started drinking behind my back. he said it’s because he has no structure here, which is bullshit! He’s just lazy and watches his YouTube all day and doesn’t help himself
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Some sharing from my own experience: I packed my exhusband’s stuff more than once because of his drinking but always took him back. No surprise that turned out bad. At a point many years later I freaked out so massively that I blew up the marriage.
I would have spared myself years of hurt and tons of therapy if I followed through and shouldered the heartbreak back then. So it was years of continuous heartbreak with a final heartbreak on top.
My ex is still in denial by the way.
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Thats solid for myself to agree
I like
“He has to find structure”
Im big on how high the bar of life is set, being too low or too high.
@Katie92
I dont like how he got mad at you for him drinking
Its like he doesnt want to be sober but feels he has to for a place.
The word “no” is solid for seeing who someone is.
I wish you luck either way
He should come on here when hes ready to get sober
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