I just don’t know what to do with myself tonight. Or even exactly what I’m feeling. I didn’t really even know Joey all that well, but we started fb messaging and encouraging each other a couple years ago when we both started our sobriety journey. We went a few messages here and there but then I disappeared from fb and then relapsed for a year and we stopped keeping in touch. Still his death just hit me so hard. He was doing so good last I knew. Has a 7 yr old daughter and just had a new boy a year and a half ago. He was going to marry his kids mom. He was about to get off probation… Everything was going so well. I know that trap. I know the thought process. Things are so good, getting high or drunk will make it all that much better. It just took ONE time. Fucking one! And his mom was the one to find him! My heart just breaks for her. I can’t even imagine. I can’t stop thinking about her…about his kids, his gf. Him! He was only 36. I know it was an accident. One he can never take back. I can’t help thinking how easily that could’ve been me. Should’ve been probably. I just don’t know. I’m just shattered.
Strangest thing is I was listening to a song called “why did you leave us” By NF all morning. And just crying. It was about his mom overdosing on pills. I didn’t even hear about my cousin till tonight…I think I’m gonna go cry myself to sleep now.
Unfortunately i cant hang around – but I wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts. I am so sorry you are dealing with this right now. Don’t forget, when it is overwhelming, lean on your support network around you. Take care of your self.
I’m so sorry.
I am so sorry Rosey.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Stay strong. Grieving will take some time but it’s a lesson we can all learn.
I lost someone to Fetanol last month and attended her funeral two weeks ago. She was 21. I know that pain and you have my most sincere condolences
I’m sorry for your loss.
I’m so sorry for your loss Rosey, you’re in my thoughts 
Sorry to hear your loss. The strength of fetynal or carr fetynal is strong. I would normally do 8-12 bags of something and with the fetynal id only have to do 4. For someone thats been clean for sometime even 1-2 bags can be fatal to an od. Ive seen it happen many times. Many think junkies deserve it but many junkies do care and are good people. Thier addiction just brings out the bad just like all addictions. I hope for the best for you and your family…
Sorry for your loss
So sorry for your loss @Rosey
I would imagine that Being sobriety buddies with your cousin makes this incredibly difficult situation that much more intense. Just know that we are here, I am here, if you ever need to talk…or just vent…or scream. I always love to read your comments and am inspired by your journey. Good on you for coming on this forum to sort it out rather than isolating.
Sending you all of my love and good energy
️ely
Thank you all for your kind words and support. It means so much more coming from all of you. Keep his family in your prayers if you think of It. His parents, siblings, gf, and kids I just can’t stop thinking about and praying for. He was a shining light in a dark world and he will be greatly missed by so many. 
A reminder to all of us how serious this affliction is and how precious life is.
I’m so sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you and the rest of Joey’s family.
So sorry for you and the rest of your family.
Arrr god bless his mum and his young family. Too many are taken too soon in this way. My heart goes out to you all. 
Reminds me of my cousin. I had already joined the Marines, when she was born. First time I met her, she was about 4 or so. Precious little thing with a big head of beautiful baloney curls, and giant brown eyes. The next time I saw her, she was a tween, and looked like she should be on some TV kids show. Next time was when she was 19, and she’d grown into a stunning young woman. Smart. Funny. She had a rebellious streak. On the day she graduated high school, she moved in with her boyfriend (a charming loser) and they lived in his grandmothers basement. 4 years later, she caught a clue, that he was a dead-end. Moved home and went to college. Got certified as a radiology tech. Doing well. Making good money. Then she hooked up with another charming loser, except this one like to use drugs. 5 years with this clown, and she finally ditched him…but was left with a drug habit.
She and my wife always got along very well, each time we’d visit back home. My wife told me she thought my cousin was using, although she wasn’t 100% positive. 2 years ago, and we were there for a visit, and had dinner with her parents. My cousin joined us. When I saw her, I was shocked. Gone was that stunning young woman. Now she looked haggard and worn. We were chatting outside, and she chainsmoked 4 cigarettes in 5 minutes. When I saw her at my Mom’s funeral a year later, she looked even worse.
I pulled my uncle aside and asked if everything was alright. He said she just worked all the time. I was thinking “yeah, maybe if you worked in a coalmine, but not in a hospital.” Two weeks later, she was found passed out in her car, behind a church. She’d OD’d on H. Turns out she’d been arrested twice before, and had lost her job. Was living off of savings and who knows what. Folks got her into rehab, but my sister says something in that girl died a long time ago.
So very sad. Thankful she’s alive, today. That could all change tomorrow.
I’m so sorry!!! Thank you for sharing. Addiction and recovery is really life or death. Hugs to you and your family!!