My ego, my anxiety, and myself

My last try at sobriety was really hard the first week or so, but then it was smooth sailing to day 133. On day 133, I decided I was cured and I could handle it. Which, I did…for about two weeks then I was back to my old ways. And I stuck to em for about 4 months. I’m back on day 12, and it’s…”easy” again. I’m not struggling with thoughts of drinking, not having any cravings really. Buuuuut- I’m worried my ego is just setting me up for failure again. It’s going so well, that I’m starting to get anxious that I’ll just slip up because I think, or I’ll convince myself I’m not an alcoholic or something.
I swing very quickly between “I’m an alcoholic, I can’t drink,” and “actually if I was an alcoholic would this be feeling so easy right now?” I got a smart brain and a dumb brain, obviously lol

Well, I would say that you need to constantly remind yourself, daily, why you can’t drink.
I visited this site as often as I could in the early days, no matter how “easy” I felt it was.
That voice is very persistent and can get us turned around before we know it.
Have you thought about a program of some sort?
I notice you’ve been here 10 days but only one hour read time.
My suggestion would be to have a good read around. Use the magnifying glass above to search any questions you may have.
All the advice you need is here.
Hopefully you have learnt that it is a bit more than just stopping drinking.
The checking in daily thread helps to stay connected to fellow drunks

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Will do!! I’m still trying to figure out how to navigate the topics and threads on here lol but I will do some more exploring