Today I decided to try and quit drinking. I went out last night and it was so bad, today I am feeling horrible and I am so scared and depressed. I woke up and just had this feeling that if I go on like this I will die. I don’t know why I do it, why I keep hurting myself over and over again but it hurts so bad. 
Wish me luck!
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Hi @pelagia welcome to the forum… Have you tried to give up alcohol before? What’s your plan? It is definitely a good decision to give up if it is making you so unhappy… plenty of people on here who can help you…me included…keep asking questions and answers and support will come your way 
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I know that feeling all to well, i woke up 60 days ago and couldn’t go on the way I was going. Now, 60 days have gone by, slept 8 hrs straight last night. I feel amazing. Take it one day at a time, its not easy some days, just keep going. Its worth it.
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Yes, I tried before, but my longest period without it was five or six days. It is really hard because I work as a bartender and there is no way that I could change my job right now. Maybe I failed before because I am to weak right now and I need some suport, but all of my relationships with people are based on alcohol and drinking. Thats why I was so happy when I dicovered this forum, I felt like this could be my hope, I don’t know. I drink every day and it’s getting worse and worse. So, today is my first day, and it’s sooo bad, I am shaking and feeling terrible and all this dark thoughts… but it has to be really bad before it gets better I guess. 
Thanks hope I’ll get there someday.
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Hi @pelagia the first few days are the worst but if you don’t pick up you will start to feel so much better… my advice would be to get to a meeting as soon as you can… AA or smart meetings… you will meet like minded people who can help you plus you will get the support from the people on here…face to face meetings really help
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Welcome your in the right place. I’ve been in your shoes more time than I can count. Keep reaching out. Maybe go to an AA. Speaking to other alcoholics in recovery has been a big help for me. Get a phone list at your local AA meeting. I know they are all strangers but they’re all there help and will do it gladly. Good luck to you! Thanks for sharing!
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I’ve been were you are and so glad that it went upwards from that day 1.
Today is my 340 days sober. It helps me to come here every day. When I have a hard time I practically live her 
So I hope to see you around often! 🙋
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Don’t worry about some day. Today is Day 1. Focus on getting through today without drinking. Just for today, you will stay sober. When tomorrow comes, you can focus on staying sober then. I found it was easier to focus on the present moment. Thinking about an alcohol free future used to bring me so much anxiety. It was like I was discouraging myself. Focusing on today, is a more realistic goal for me. It may help you too.
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I feel for you. I’m 4 days in, and the withdrawal is hard. But I never want to get to this point again. I’ve had enough.
The people on this forum are really supportive. We’re in this together.
Crosby
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Yes, that’s how I feel right now… when I think about the future I just can’t picture it without alcohol, and I feel so ashamed because of it, like I’m really pathetic. I think it is because I’m something like social drinker, I just can’t deal or speak to people when I’m sober, I used to go to therapy when I was younger because of my social anxiety and I never learned to deal with it so I just started drinking whenever I had to socialize… and since I’m working with people now I drink everyday… everything is in such a mess.
You’re not pathetic and it’s normal to feel ashamed. I avoid some social situations because idk how to deal with them sober. Concerts, clubs, bars. I don’t really have the desire to go clubs and bars anymore. I LOVE music though and concerts. I have social anxiety as well. I used to self medicate with alcohol. I’m also an addict so I don’t trust myself with benzos to help with my anxiety. When I got sober I realized that I suffered from mild depression. I never worked at a bar but either way alcohol is easy to get if I wanted it. I know that alcohol isn’t going to bring anything good into my life. Do not feel pathetic. You’re not alone. Sobriety is about changing the way you live your life and that’s something that will happen in time. You won’t even realize it.
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I don’t trust myself with pills either, but I smoke pot sometimes and it really calms me down, but then I can go for months without it, only with alcohol I just don’t know how to stop. But it really makes me sad that I go through life with blurried mind all the time, I want to be aware of my life and my emotions but I am too scared. But drinking scares me too now. Thank you for sharing your story, it feels really good to talk to someone, because I could never do it face to face I think. Most of my conversation with people, even with people I call friends are superficial and meaningless.
Communicating never came easy for me either. It seems like you have a lot of insight and are aware of the changes you want to make in your life. That’s a good place for you start. You’re welcome. I enjoy sharing now. Let me you I’ve got stories! Lol we all do. Sharing my experiences and hope helps me stay sober. In turn I help others while I help myself. Feel free to message me if you’d like. I’m on her off and on all day while I work.
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