Maybe try a meeting might help wish you well
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Took me awhile to see…but functioning is a really low bar. For us humans. Functioning = not dead. So much more to life than basic functioning.
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There are online AA meetings at all times, from all around the world.
Here’s some other topics you can get great ideas from. Make a plan. Work on your sobriety. Getting and staying sober doesn’t happen by accident or as the result of good intentions!
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I know I deserve more than just not being dead! I do a lot for so many others that I completely forgot about myself! No more
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Hey @JM86 weekends were a BIG TRIGGER for me early on because it was such a habit to reward/unwind with booze. Hold on tight and do anything but pickup.
Make plans early tmrw so you “cant” drink or stay up late. Take a nice relaxing shower. Treat yourself to flavorful food or nonalcoholic drinks.
Boredom and lonliness are big triggers for me and ive filled those trigger times with visiting here and aa meetings online and in person. I have 103 days sober today! Try changing your perspective. Instead of I deserve a few drinks. Try I deserve a sober, healthy, fulfilling life.
If you get tempted think of all the negatives associated with your drinking.
Good job coming here to vent before picking up.
You can do this one day at a time! Message me if need be. I’ll be here all night 
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Thank you for the support and advice. I really appreciate it. Tonight has gone well I don’t have any alcohol in the house and unable to leave to get any. I have plans all day tomorrow with my boys clear and with energy hopefully tomorrow goes just as well! @Cjp
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A thread for people to use on Fridays, which can be rough at times for a lot of people. Sometimes there is a lot of activity, sometimes not. It’s not necessarily helpful to you overall, but it came to mind and I figured I’d drop the link.
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I really feel you. Fridays/Weeksend have been especially difficult at the beginning. But i can asure you that this will pass and it will get easier. Keep it up!
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Fridays and weekends used to be a huge problem for me too for the exact same reasons. I also wanted weekends to enjoy my kids. This whole mindset of treating myself at weekend was also the cause of many relapses.
The good news is you can do it and it is possible to get through it . I’ll be very honest, it was hard at first for around the first three weekends. It didn’t completely fix itself even after that 3rd week but it started to get easier… and easier with every passing week. I’m 8 months now and for the past 6 months haven’t even thought about a weekend being associated with alcohol whatsoever. Sounds unbelievable doesn’t it. My old self would not have even believed this looking back but it is possible.
I just enjoyed a wonderful weekend away with my boys with memories ill treasure for life . I was present… we bonded … we had the best time.
You can do this! It’s so worth it in the end x
Just came back to add something else… I just realised people keep mentioning Fridays in chat today. I didbt even realise it was Friday!!! That just shows you … zero association with alcohol. Old me would never forget a Friday.
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Wow that is amazing and it is nice to know it isn’t just me sometimes I would sit and think I was! Thank you @Willowwhiny for sharing that with me it has given me hope for the future. There are two different ways of being present isn’t there I want the other present so bad. I’m still struggling sleep wise but other than that I am doing ok I am going to come up with a list of different ways I can reward myself rather than a weekend of wine 
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Beautiful post.
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How are you doing?
I think lists and planning are essential for those first few weeks. I did park trips in the depths of winter . … ones i had never visited before. planned out unusual picnics that I knew my boys would be excited by because it was different foods or presented differently. More often we ate them in the car because it rained. I took coffee flasks for my own treat. None of this made it simple or a breeze in the early days, deep down I was suffering in the cycle of recovery, I was present but still in withdrawal and all the emotional feelings and cravings that comes with that. … BUT… it was an amazing distraction and little by little I was smiling more, present more.
I even painted an old fence in my garden. I am not a DIY person whatsoever so this was a big deal for me. But the kids and I chose the paint and painted it together. It’s funny - I look at that old fence now and think how magical it is. It looks terrible with blotches everywhere where the kids were “helping” yet I’m so fond of it now. It was part of my journey. It was something to distract and get me through. The kids also enjoyed the time doing it together and are very proud of it.
I try to view the emotional side of early sobriety as a useful tool that will make you so strong in the coming months. Imagine climbing a hill you can see the sunshine at the top, you know you will have the best view once up there and a feeling like no other . Climbing it won’t be easy. There will be pain, rain, you might even feel lost at times but every day that passes you are closer to the top. Make sure you celebrate the small achievements too along the way.
Gosh I’m rambling on at 8am on a Saturday morning. Got to love that sobriety energy and no hangovers. We have the whole day ahead of us. Let me know how you get on and keep coming here. This forum is what kept me on track and still does to this day.
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@Bubonicphoniks still not had a drink and I just got my 5 day chip !! I had the worst night sleep I’ve had all week though which is strange considering I had the best night sleep the night before.
@Willowwhiny thank you! Ahhh got to love a good child helping job I just got my 5 day chip today which is great! I had the worst sleep last night this weekend is still causing me some anxiety and with anxiety usually comes alcohol but I have planned to be out all day today and I am determined to reward myself with something other than a bottle of wine at the end of it! Appreciate the support so much
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Sorry you are struggling with the sleep. Perhaps binge watch a show for some lazy distraction. Remember you don’t need to be supermum right now, early recovery is delicate be kind to yourself and do whatever will get you through. You can do the other stuff when your feeling a bit better x
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That is good you have plans. Anxiety is the worst I know that feeling . When you get home get cozy get some nice food and pop on here to read others stories or chat. Have a lovely day out x
One more tip… I noticed you said bottle of w**e a few times in your chat which is completely normal when your transitioning. Something that helped me is to try and block old memories of that habit to try and retrain my mind to not associate it with rewards . A simple way of doing this at first if the memory keeps coming to your mind is just change the wording. A bottle of alcoholics poison sounds far less glam. By the way I’m not telling you you can’t type it how you wish here, I’m just sharing little things that helped me beat the demon. My drink of choice was the same as yours. I won’t even type the word anymore or say it… it has no place in my life x
Thank you for the tip and I hope I haven’t triggered you in anyways by using it I guess I am still getting used to how this all works it something I haven’t tried ever before. I like the idea of changing the narrative I will give it a go. You have a lovely day too x
No triggers at all here. Just thought it might help you too 
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