Hey all. Iām a Newby thought Iād introduce myself .
I decided to āget my shit togetherā just yesterday after a massive moment of realisation that I have finally hit rock bottomā¦
Iām a pshyc nurse. Iām 40. Two years ago I lost my shit and littetally only just realised what that meant yesterday! Lost my house to my ex lost my mum to ms lost my brother to heart disease and found my new love ā¦ wineā¦ Itās glorious ability to make me think everything was going to be okay turned out to be one big fat ugly lie ā¦
It numbs the pain but created a person I donāt even recognise! Itās turned me into a twilight monster. I call it this because itās always at the evenings that I loose control .
I call my self a functioning alcho but Iām no where near functional!!! Yeah I keep my job only just . . I donāt get hang overs all I get is that shocking feeling of dread .
I use to be a craft helicopter mum now Iām just a sloth who cares more about spending my last tenner on a nasty cheap bottle of white. My kids suffer for this.
Iām currently sitting in my courtyard my first day of trying to better myself Iām glaring at a half drunken bottle of $7wine and a cup of coffee and Iām wondering if I should tip it down the drain but Iām freaking out that Iāll want it later.pretty pathetic reallyā¦ I stayed up till 4am last night reading posts and comments and I hope by sharing my story and actually getting distracted by this app helps me stop eyeballing the bottle of wineā¦
Thanks thatās all for now.
Welcome to the forum L from another psych nurse. Very glad to have you aboard as together we can do this and the more the stronger we are. I hope this place can be as helpful to you as it has been to me over the last two years. Contributing, writing, posting, encouraging, being encouraged, gaining knowledge about addiction and how to beat it, I did and found it all here and it has been the difference between failure and success for me.
Iād say start by pouring out the bottle in the sink. It will be a tangible as well as a symbolic gesture of how your life is going to chance. Without alcohol. The road to recovery isnāt an easy one, it takes work and dedication, but Iām telling you itās so bloody worth it! I wish you all success friend.
Hi, Iām thinking you should pour that shitty chardonnay out. Sip your coffee and smile knowing you donāt have to drink today. Eat, drink more coffee and go for a walk or something healthy and different. Tomorrow comes & you can do the healthy thing againā¦
Thank you so muchā¦ my job is actually a saviour itās really hard daily I watch ppl suffer and be lost and needing help mainly caused my drug and booze and here I am doing exactly what put them where they are. Tha ks for your kind words
Thatās a common theme L. We need to help ourselves before we can help others. Only when weāre good and healthy ourselves can we lead good lives and be of good help to others too. We do this for ourselves in the first place, but at the same time we do it together because alone it is too much.
I am glad you decided that you want a change. Lots of help for you here via many directions/ routes. I hope you poured the wine out. When you want to drink, come here instead. The help and support will be here for you. Soon, hopefully, it will be bye bye twilight monster, hello to that person you recognize.
Donāt think about whether youāll need it this evening, take the day minute by minute, hour-by-hour. Live and celebrate the decision you have made to be a better mum, as much as you need to to get you through.
I still havenāt poured out the wineā¦ Although I havenāt touched it yet! Kinda winning , I guess ā¦ Iāve done homework with the kids and dinners cooking thatās a first in a long time at 16:15 !!!
Good for you on the dinner. The evenings are your weak spot I think. Making a plan of things to do to help you not want the wine, distract you, will help. Things to do that you can enjoy.
Might be reading posts here ā¦ going for a walk, ice cream w the children. Distract yourself from that bottle.
I was so like you , I would borrow money for that bottle , buy the kids something cheap for tea so I had enough left. This journey isnāt easy but I guarantee if you donāt tip the wine away you will drink it eventually and it will lead to more. Iām with you on this . You will feel better for it tomorrow.
You are in that place where you cant go on living like that, but letting go is scary. Iāve been there. Letting go is worth it.
Keeping that wine around may feel like winning, but its a reservation that has a strong chance of winning. I understand how difficult it is to pour it out.
We live in a world filled with the glorification of alcohol. I keep my home alcohol free. When I decided not to drink. I wasnāt successful many times because I kept it around, or I kept hanging out with friends I drank with.
I have learned the hard way that reservations get me drunk.
Lisitin man theres no other way but start now fuck that cheap lowsy wine away you can do this.you have realised your ready for change and thats all the most important thing.start now dont look back im 7 days today I will never look back only forward we can do this you will feel better with each day that passes you will be free again
Welcome! I am also a mum (of two). I certainly had a wine phase, choosing by the %. My mum had ms too, but it was copd that killed her. I also kept my job, and I miraculously stayed married, but would cook drunk, pick the kids up drunk (by foot) and at the end was passing out and my husband had to do everything. Drunk or hungover and (barely)doing homework with the kids, forgetting the contents of phonecalls, I can barely believe it now. I learnt a lot about the science and culture of drinking, what it does to the brain, the lies popular culture tells us. There are plenty of videos on youtube. I liked Annie Grace when I started.
Hi! Congrats on tipping out the wine.
Iām only 9 days in being sober but l felt the need to reply to your post.
I recently resigned from over 10 years as a nurse in a dementia unit, the stress was getting too much and l was worried about its toll on my mental health. I, too, used to to drink wine (lots of it) one became two, three and the rest. The day l decided to stop drinking, my bp was slightly elevated, l had abdo discomfort, and was sick and tired of having a hangover. I had to change for my two teenage daughters, l was terrified l had done serious damage to my body. I am happy to say l am feeling so much better physically and mentally.
I canāt believe how supportive everyone is on here, its fantastic! Keep checking in on here, l have been.
Looking forward to seeing you on here
Iām so glad to hear that you poured out that wine. It seems so difficult to take that first step, but it starts us on the right path. I was a wine drinker too. Like @Misokatsu I was buying the highest % abv I could. I thought wine would relax and comfort me. I was never a social drinker, hated to be drunk or even buzzed in front of others. I mostly drank alone.
I understand how wine seemed like a friend and comfort when your life turned into a shit storm. It felt the same to me, until I started to get the sense that not only was the wine not helping, it was actually making things feel much worse.
I will second @Misokatsu and say that reading Annie Graceās book This Naked Mind and doing her free 30 day alcohol experiment shifted my mindset and has helped me to maintain my sobriety.
Like others have said, read threads, use the search feature to find similar storiesā-the keyword āwineā brings up a lot of helpful posts. And please please post here BEFORE you tale a drink when feeling cravings. Youāll be glad you did.
Hey! How are you feeling today? My mother was a psych nurse and I felt immediate warm feelings hearing that have decided to take back your life. She was also an alcoholicā¦but she decided late in the game to take her life back too (as have I!) so glad to have you here
