So my husband and I have been together for 9 yrs. Both been addicted to pain medicine then both got on suboxone. Since I have already quit and went back to the suboxone once he made the comment that hes not gonna go thru this again… I just found out im pregnant and he would rather give me a piece of sub so that i dont talk about my withdrawl symptoms then hear me out and take this on together. He says the most hateful things sometimes and im scared it will drive me to want to use again… It already has made me feel like i should say fuck it and take a piece of suboxone. I really need support and a good attitude. Im on edge and he pushes me over the edge and makes me honestly just want to leave him but i know its gotta be the hormones from being pregnant and the withdrawl… How do you handle anger with your spouse and how do i stay clean when he leaves me a piece of a suboxone just in case i need it…? What do i do?
When I’m angry a good long walk does me the world of good. It helps me to sort out my head and calm down. Don’t give in. Especially now you are pregnant. Really your fella should be trying to give up as well. It would make it easier for the both of you to do it together.
It sounds impossible to deal with it. But we always make the impossible, possible!
Your husband is not bad, he finds reality too painful, so do we find life very painful, and we all find something to escape our pain from.
You could tell you hubby that you understand what he is going through and you understand that it’s normal to run to meds to escape life. And ask him nicely that you don’t want to run away from the pain. You rather want to except the pain and deal with it the realway, and live a sober life…
The point is,that if you’ll tell him what your plan is, and tell him that you want to live in reality,.,., so even if he will disagree with you, you will still show him what you want, and tell him to respect your will
Thank you! Now I just need a plan! Ive got the want for a different lifestyle down I’ve got the need for a different lifestyle down… Now i just need the plan on how to get there. Obviously stay sober right? This drug hurts my body so much when i go without. I feel i could snap my bones in half by the 3rd day… Ugh getting to that third day is the hardest!
Did you ever try to attend meetings working the 12 steps of sobriety?
For me, the 12 steps changed my life. My spouse cannot buttin to my life anymore, I’m strong enough to be self-dependent.
I know this may seem like an attack of the obvious, but you do understand that the actively addicted brain is not capable of completely rational thought, right? In your husbands brain, the damage of continued substance abuse is outweighed the tough effects of withdrawal. He’s projecting his fears on to you.
Pregnancy…that’s reality. Have a drug-positive baby and you will likely lose that child, and open yourself up to the full weight of the state. Scrutiny of every aspect of your life. Having decisions made for you by well-meaning but overbearing nannies. How will this pain compare to gutting out withdrawals?
Yes actually. I did the 12 weeks already and it was awesome so I’m going to go back once every two weeks or so because it really help to know that there are others out there like I am I was going once a week and it helped a lot when I quit smoking weed so yeah I am definitely going because I have to quit smoking weed I like to drink wine every once in awhile gotta quit that and I got to quit Suboxone I have severe anxiety and I’m prescribed anxiety medicine that I have to quit too because of baby so it’s going to be pretty hard
I’m going to just get honest about what I read. I think a detox facility would help start your journey. And after that spending time in an inpatient treatment plan would greatly help you. This is hard to hear I’m sure but it’s not just your own well being anymore. And what each of those does for you is gives you knowledge and support. But probably more importantly is time! Time to start recovery. Time to be away from your home situation. You need to get some clarity of your life. And maybe there will be some hard decisions you need to make? But where you are now none of those decisions seem viable for you to make. You need clean time and time to process. Will it be easy NOPE but rehab isn’t hell. What you’re in now that is way worse than rehab.
Im not worried about the withdrawls. Ive done this cold turkey quit both pregnancies. Idk if worded this wrong or what.
I’d have to agree with the above post about a detox facility, you need to take care of you and your baby right now, and this sounds cold maybe, but your husband is going to have to deal. That baby’s life is out of its own hands and you’re on the right track, so now the time for taking real steps, think of how much better it would be to just know you did the work and baby’s going to be born clean and able to live and love his/her mom. I’ve gone through it twice and the moment you hold them in your arms it’s so worth it, sleep deprivation, poopy diapers and all. I really wish you the best!
You worded it correctly. I don’t think you are worried about the withdrawals. I think your husband is worried about them, which is why he keeps leaving you with one of your DOC’s “just in case”. “Break in case of withdrawal” is a temptation, if I read your top-post correctly. He thinks he’s supporting you, but in reality it has the danger to sabotage you…right?
Heya, a tip for your anxiety that i found to help me overcome mine. It’s simple and essy to do. The Tapping Solution. Here is a video that shows you what to do. I didn’t think it would work but it even works when I’m in pain.
okay then we are on the same page. I really really would love to do something like that I just have my kids here and I really need to take care of them I get my daughter ready for school I do all the taking care of housework my husband works a lot 6 days out of the week usually until about 6 or 7 p.m. so I guess I’m just going to have to be strong and talk to my preacher maybe that will help because he’s pretty good at mediating mine and my husbands conversations and I know that if I needed help with the kids the church would come help as much as they could they just probably couldn’t do it all day but if I needed them I know they would come if I am super uncomfortable one day because of withdrawal I won’t have to worry about making dinner and all that I’m actually going to talk to my preacher today I had already planned on that what do you all think and I will just tell my husband I don’t need that just in case piece of Suboxone I didn’t need it today but that’s because it’s the first day and Suboxone has a super long half-life
Yup. Yip. Yes .
You are doing the right thing and keep on doing the right thing
So I have some pretty perfect news news that made everything better for me as far as this situation goes I ended up telling my husband exactly how I felt and we talked about everything and he totally understands where I’m coming from and we have a plan now and he also is going to start tapering himself off of Suboxone praise God for this I also told him that I am done being unhappy with things in my life and that I am ready to move on and be the happy person that I once was or i should say the person i will become and anything that gets in the way of that is going to be pushed aside because I am done I’m fed up totally done being unhappy/on drugs(since drugs absolutely has everything to do with my being so unhappy) and he told me he loved me and he supported everything that I said and wanted to do everything he could to help even going as far as saying he wont leave the suboxone wrappers laying around or take his sub in front of me ect… and I pretty much feel like I’m full of shit because this is such a fairytale. Haha! So guess what folks it’s time for my happily ever after to begin! a new me and a happy me and a sober me! I’m excited and happy about it and now I know my husband is just as excited about it as I am and that makes this journey so much more exciting than dreadful (thinking withdrawals) we both just weren’t speaking about our feelings so neither of us knew and both of us assumed that the other didn’t want this pregnancy or sobriety to happen but we were both wrong to my amazement. It was the opposite for us both! So now i say this… Communication really is key! And God is good all the time and all the time God is good!
Miracles happen