It sure is a slippery slope. That I’ve cascaded down plenty of times. It only leads to arguments and headaches…
Good reminder though!
Hope all is well on your side too! 
When I think back years and years ago, when drinking was fun. In the last years it didn’t help me to escape. The problems were still there the next morning and even worse. I felt guilty, hungover like shit, ashamed. The problem was still there. I was still there. If it was only a tipsy feeling I was looking for I would never have asked me the question, do I have a problem with alcohol?
Now, and I realised just now with you answering me, I can find these escapes in people cheering me up, distract me from my thoughts like yesterday when i was chatting with a good colleague about going to a clown basic course or riding a real small pony where my feet could touch the ground. This doesn’t solve my problems, neither but it works better than alcohol for me atm.
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@anon74766472 - that clown course sounds fun! I want to ride a little pony! I used to ride a lot as a teenager & worked at the barn to earn my saddle time. Love those animals.
I know I have to work on finding joy / distraction / fulfillment in real life. There are plenty of things, just takes a little more effort to realize it.
Im working on dealing with long over due issues etc. When I got drunk there were plenty of times suppressed issues surface and become emotional events. Those are no fun.
Without drinking those issues have less of a hold and I don’t get that crippling depression and anxiety. I find it strange that drinking makes those things worse when it’s supposed (marketed) to make you happy.
But there has always been that physiological desire for the numb-tingely feeling. That’s a hard desire to shake.
I just need to keep working on finding joy in life & try to forget that desire. I have plenty of good fun things to fill my life with. Just need to stay reminded of why going back to booze isn’t all fun and numb, it can be an emotional roller-coaster.
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Made it through the retirement party with my cran/soda and a Dr pepper when I got a little sleepy.
My husband on the other hand… may have just finished praying to the porcelain God.
So I’m very grateful I didn’t get carried away with him because I might not have puked tonight, but most likely all morning tomorrow and lost the day with a pounding debilitating migraine. He will actually probably be just fine tomorrow. But I know my body reacts differently and I’m so beyond over it. I started to get a headache a couple hrs ago - no idea why. But my minor headache is nothing compared to how I would feel if I drank tonight.
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I’m so happy to hear this. I’m very proud of you. Congratulations on your retirement. To me, I see the perks of sobriety coming up in your journey on a frequent basis. Thank you for being so honest and sharing.
- Day 3 of vacation. I have found some new AF beverages to try at home.
Lemonade with mint blended together.
Virgin coconut mojito. All the fizzy lime & mint fun with some coconut milk. Sooooo yum.
Have been limited on the exploring - adventures due to my knee. But booked a massage and driven around to some cool stuff, met some fun nice people at the pool. Had some great food & desserts
Not missing “standing around a table in a different geographic location” (can’t remember who said that, but that quote is so fitting for traveling around bar hopping).
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#178
The hotel gave us complimentary drinks last night. I was worried there would be booze in them, but they made AF blended soursop & basil since they noticed I don’t drink
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It’s my birthday. It’s also 181 days. I’ll drink blended mint lemonade, catch some waves on a boogie board, accidently score front row to the amazing sunset and fire show if I want to.
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Happy Birthday! Enjoy your day, more so that you are sober. Keep getting better at getting better, each and every day. Better today than you were yesterday and tomorrow, better still.
Happy Birthday! Sounds like a fab way to spend your special day! 
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Happy birthday. Hope you have an absolutely wonderful day and I hope your year is filled with love and laughter.
When we are sober, growth is imminent and infinite!
193…
Home from vacation. I made it.
I finally threw away my “secret” stash bottle. I cleaned out the liquor cabinet and the away all the almost empty bottles. I want to throw them all away, but my husband still drinks. Rarely, but if people come over he has something to make the offer them.
I also threw away the NA “shrubs” I tried. I didn’t like them. Just tasted like water with a hint of herbs. Not worth the space (in my opinion).
Then made a frozen mint lemonade.
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Inspirational 
thanks for sharing your journey, it’s a good read 
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Big stressful day at a new job. I’m sure previously I would have gotten drunk on the boat yesterday and today would’ve been really difficult. But I enjoyed iced tea and a virgin Pina colada (which tastes way better without alcohol BTW) while they had strong margaritas. My friends daughter got sick. The other one found a way around the waitress that refused to serve her. In this state the kids can drink if the parents give it to them. I don’t agree with their decisions. But I know if I was drinking those margaritas with them I would probably have a really rough day on my first day. So I’m really glad I didn’t drink and have a clear head for today’s unknowns.
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197
New job. Tempted to drink yesterday after the long day. But I know I don’t need the booze to relax. Just went and walked the dog to meet friends at the pool. They were all drinking. Took the dog to swim at the ramp. Then to dinner with friends. It was tempting though. They were drinking at the at dinner also. Sometimes it gets old being the only one not drinking.
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Are you actually tempted?..or is it a bit of FOMO do you think…? 