I remember living in a shed, sleeping on chairs and using my backpack as a pillow… thinking I’m still ok because at least I got a roof over my head. Not eating, not sleeping, not showering, not brushing my teeth. But yeah I’m good, pushing everybody away, lonely in a crowd of people, no idea who I am and wearing a mask around different people and being a chameleon. Changing the way I acted around different people and not being able to be myself because I had no idea who I was as a person, I was so lost and broken. Today I am 2 months sober and part of a recovery home and on a path to finding myself and gaining self worth by helping out my fellow alcoholic on a daily basis because today I know I can’t do this alone. I am a relapser and this is my second shot at recovery, YOU can do this! And YOU are worth it! Give 100% and get back 110%, today I think about my loved ones before I make any big decision and today I don’t make decisions alone because the decisions I made are what lead me to almost dieing multiple times. I shouldn’t be alive and it is truly a miracle how I am here sharing this message with you all. I believe God said it wasn’t my time to go, and there was a point where I resented God, and said on my way to hell I would rip him off that cross and bring him with me. I was filled with so much hate, today I am learning how to love and mkt be so selfish. This way of life is incredible, but it is very hard.
7 Likes
What a massive transformation, and a brilliant attitude you have. Thank you for sharing your story so far, look forward to hearing more about your progress!
Keep checking in and reach out whenever you need to 
Thank you for sharing your story, it’s incredible and inspiring! Welcome here! 
Well done Spencer, keep up the great work, glad things are turning around for you.
You got this- hold onto that thought how incredible this life is!!