My name is Lola. I'm a recovering alcoholic

I grew up watching adults drink alcohol at every function and it looked fun. My first drink was at 8yo when my Dad gave me a cup of saki. I liked it and asked for more. The adults laughed. I was very shy as a teen. I got drunk for the first time at 13yo at a block party on beer. I was so much fun. I knew I’d drink alot more after that. I came out of myself & i was funny as hell. I drank less as a new mom at 30yo but as the years passed the kids needed me less, so i drank more. I went to outpatient rehab at 42, got sober for 5 months, rejected AA and went back to my old best friend, alcohol. I’m 58 years old now. On NYE of 2018, i hit bottom in the form of a terrifying violent blackout. On 1/1/18, my husband and daughter left me. I tried to overdose on drugs, but i woke up dehydrated after 16 hours. I wanted to die because i hated myself so much. I was a disgrace to myself and my family. On this day last year, 1/2/2018, i went to a bar to get drunk. After several drinks, i began to sob pathetically. “I can’t do this anymore” i thought, as I slid off a barstool drunk for the last time. I drove home thinking “It takes 3 days to buy a gun, or I could go to an AA meeting.” I didn’t apply for the gun. Three days later I went to my first AA meeting. Tomorrow i celebrate the first year of sobriety of my entire adult life. There is so much happiness in sobriety. I never knew life could be this good. The bad times come, like my dog just died. I was able to be strong and sober for my family. My spirit is strong and my higher power is love. I’m starting to help others with addiction now and that’s amazing. My family came back to me. Forgiveness is the love and light of life. If i can get sober after 45 years of boozing, you can too. Every day i grow and learn. I have set backs too… but the tools I gain in AA carry me over the bumps. When you turn “why is this happening to me?” into “what can I learn from this” self pity can’t fester and pull you down. Bless you all, there’s hope in sobriety. Happy New Year. love from lola

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Such powerful testimony. I can only comment “Amen”.

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Thank Yoda-Stevie.

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Glad to hear you are in such a good place… I liked the last part about turning “why me” into “what can I learn from this”

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Thanks for sharing Lola. This is really inspirational.

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First post I read today and I love it! Thanks for sharing your miracle with us :smiley:

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Ah Lola - your story brought tears to these eyes. What a powerful testimony to changing one’s life. I’m so happy for you and the incredible year you have had. Thank you for sharing your incredible story.

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Thanks for sharing. What you’ve achieved is inspirational.

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Inspiring truth there Lola! Thanks so much for sharing and big congratulations on your upcoming year. You should be very proud of yourself.

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Truly inspirational!

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Very inspiring. Totally agree with the ‘why me, into why cant I learn from this’. I’ve struggled with that for so long. My husband will ask why cant i just learn from my mistakes? It’s like i remember the bad times, well most of them. But, it’s hard. It’s hard being an alcoholic. It’s hard being married to someone who just doesnt understand most of the time. So I just have to stay sober so I will never have to relive those moments of sadness and heartache. I can do this. We can all do this. Thank you for sharing this today. Thanks!

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Thank you MrsB. I’ve been going through alot lately. I’m about to start traveling and I get anxious. I’ll be on the road alone for several days and I thought this would be a good way to connect with other struggling alcoholics. I also have been through alot of hard stuff in my marriage when i was drinking. Wouldn’t talk to me for days/weeks. He left for months. He had affairs. I had affairs. This is our last chance. Either way, I’m staying sober.

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I understand 100%. My husband would drink with me and then get mad at me the next day if I got angry the night before and couldnt remember the next day. I actually left him last year for 6 months to live a ‘sober single life’ and that didnt work out too well. We are now back together and have been going strong since last june. We were drinking together again, but thankfully he is supportive on me being sober, but would enable me to drink bc he knew how much I enjoyed it. It’s like he flip flops lol. But, I’ve been sober 2 days and trying to just check in on others on here bc it’s easier for me to communicate and open up on here rather than in AA. Where are you traveling to and why will you be alone?

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Ha, my husband too. We had started going to happy hour every day. He pushed me to be friends with the drinking ladies at the bar. Totally enabled me. Then be mad. Day drinking became a thing too. Until I took a nose dive into the scariest blackout of my life. I was done. But now he’s being supportive and i dont go to the bar with him when he goes. I feel like we have a chance.
We travel in separate cars to Florida from Pennsylvania for the winter.

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Lola you are inspirational to lots of us on here I’m sure. Well done and thank you for sharing your story. It’s posts like this that make me want to stay sober and live the best life possible. :heart::heart::heart:

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Oh ok. Yea my husband just gave it up with me. Theres no way I could be married to someone who drank while I was trying to get sober. I didnt tell him he had to stop, he made that decision on his own thankfully. Be careful making that drive, that is a very long drive alone!! Keep coming back here!! I’m always here for you girl!!

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Congratulations on your year! :tada:

Your story punched me in the face when you described going back to drinking for 16 years. Then a jab in the guts when you had to decide to go to AA or the gun shop.

I’m moved by your dedication to sobriety no matter what. No. Matter. What.

I look forward to reading more of your posts, @LolaBurr. Thanks! Blessings on your house :pray:.

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Thanks for sharing your story @LolaBurr. It’s truly inspirational and it really touched me. Congratulations on your achievements and have a great journey. You can do it!

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Thank you so much. It took me a long time to get where I’m at. I’m very lucky.

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‘my higher power is love’ reading that was like a light bulb going on for me, its so simple and absolutely perfect. It cut through my religion prejudices and I am grateful for that! x

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