My recovery turns 110 days old today. I know it’s probably only that exciting to me, and maybe my husband, but it feels great. I want to shout it from a mountain top; but only if there is a city below so everyone else can hear it.
Drugs, alcohol, and the lifestyle I was living managed to take control of my life for 22 years. But guess what? I planted that seed in myself, made that one choice, the choice to clean up and it took a while to take root, but it did. (About 3 years total from the decision to the action). And now it’s blooming and healthy in my life. When you tell yourself you want more out of life, to live it again, to feel things you haven’t been able to feel, had the courage to face demons, whom are no longer scary (because this is MY LIFE!!) It gets easier and then it becomes natural again. I live everyday as a tomorrow and not a yesterday, because I am not that Danielle anymore. I am new each day, each step, one foot in FRONT of the other. God bless you in your own journey, and I pray for strength for everyone. Love Always, Danielle.
I am not that former version of myself anymore? Can I look at myself from the outside? What would I see?
Wonderful message! Thanks!
I guess the answer would depend on whom it was asked of. I see a daughter, a mother, a sister again. I do not isolate myself as I did before. I am interacting with my family again. I can look people in the eye while I am walking about, which has been quite some time since I have. I do not feel ashamed. However, I had this ideal that recovery would be like magic and everything would be perfect again. As good as it is, there are a lot of new emotions, and it is hard sometimes. It’s not magic, it’s work. It’s 100% worth it but I can’t start certain things, like a job, or school, until I finish this new step or this part of recovery.
