I’m choosing to write this out to help anyone I can. I’ve been an alcoholic for basically half my life. My most recent bender to hide it- vanilla extract. Yup there I said but that’s not all bc when I couldn’t get that I did mouthwash, hand sanitizer was I thought the worst I could ever get and then I tried to drink perfume. Then realized there is what you call dentured alcohol in that. I could have died so everytime I thought this is my rock bottom. I no….. now I know what that is and I can never go back not if I want to live which I do. This has to be the last time, it will be. This is probably the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever admitted but it’s part of my story and I’m getting better every sec I say no. This will be a true test but I’m here and I’m fighting for myself and my future. Alcohol has to stop controlling every part of my life. You can judge but I never EVER thought I could get that bad. Guess what I did and I hope whoever reads this and has been there, you can pull out I promise. It’s not easy but it’s worth. I have to keep fighting, for my life every single sec of every moment. #soberandfighting
Really brave to share your lowest point with the world, thanks for doing it, and well done!
I appreciate you for sharing. It let’s me know that I’m not the only one who has felt like I’m living at rock bottom…
Success to us all, on our collective journeys!
No judgement here @Thistooshallpass0503 
Alcohol is poison and addictive. It’s a mean mofo and it lies. You have work ahead and sometimes it will be hard. But it is NEVER not worth whatever it takes to quit it. You are worthy of a better life and you can get there!
I wish you the best
You can do it brother stay strong keep moving forward never look back fuck alcohol !
thanks for your sharing your story
Best commitment you will ever make. I have found it easier with an AA home group to show me the way, but there are a lot of different roads. You might join us on the Checking in Daily thread? Post your day count and celebrate other’s milestones? Just remember you don’t have to do this alone, and reach out here before you drink.
First congrats on the start of your journey and being honest with yourself and others. It is not easy to admit these things especially in the beginning. I’ve heard many people who drank mouthwash and hand sanitizer, but not perfume. We’re glad you’re still here. A lot out there unfortunately don’t make it. You’ve made your beginning so you’re in a better spot than you may even realize. I never thought I’d get that bad either, but there I was drinking shots in the morning every day wondering when I’d die. Active addiction is literally living in hell. Find what works for you, but AA has been my route and it has been life saving and changing. Like minded people helping each other and a program of action to totally rewire your mind. That and a lot of therapy. I mean like a lot lol. Whatever works for you just keep doing it a day at a time and stay focused. You’ll be alright. Best wishes
How are you?
I’m one week sober today! It has been rough. I ended up having a seizure on Wednesday and I was hospitalized for a couple days but I’m back home and I feel good. I’m so happy to be sober. I have a great support system and two beautiful girls so I have every reason to do this! Thanks for asking! This site is amazing, everyone is so supportive and kind. How is your journey going?
Happy 1 week sober. So glad you are healthy and safe and sober
Congrats on your one week! Sorry to hear about the seizure, glad you’re ok. I start my journey two years ago. Stay strong, one day at a time
In my phyco period i mixed paraffin with my last super lager to get a buzz was house bound at this time overweight full beard long hair hiding when the postman came in a £400k house full of fear and lost searched every were but no other drink in house this was just one of my bad days , how im here today i dont know but i survived wish you well
For me, I’ve gotten into many accidents and drunk driving cases. Every day I used to wake up, and just driving the car and thinking about beer would make me nauseous before I even drank. But I would still drink anyway, even if I vomited—I was deeply addicted to alcohol.
I also had so much fear and no peace of mind, even though I have a good education and skills. Alcohol completely ruined my life.
But today, I am 7 days sober and recovering in a rehabilitation center!