Saturdays are just tough to be honest. All my friends drink and their hangout places are either clubs or beer gardens. I don’t wanna be there yet a part of me wants to be there. Not to drink beer like them but just to talk, to get some air…anything to get out of the house just for a few hours. I’m bored and I need company. And my friends told me they don’t wanna be enablers in my alcoholism so they want to limit inviting me over when they’re having fun (drinking of course). I had a really busy week and the weekend is that day to relax. But I don’t wanna be relaxing coz the first 2 months of my sobriety I was indoors, scared of triggers. Last week I went out, I liked it but it also didn’t make sense to me that I was at a place where beer was everywhere. So it’s kinda confusing why I’m feeling like being outdoors with friends who drink. Does it make sense? I mean, I feel lonely.
I need me some sober friends. It’s been 85 days. Why am I not making any new sober friends? This makes me feel sad and lonely
It’s an exciting time for you. You still have your friends but it’s time to make some new ones. Where do you live?
Figuring out where I fit in now that I dont drink has been challenging for me too. Especially in the first couple of months.
I stayed away from everything and anyone drinking. I had to. I had failed at staying sober many times trying to hang out with drinkers.
All my friends still drink. Occasionally I see them in scenarios where drinking isnt involved but its rare. Drinking is always involved.
Now that more time has passed, when I do visit with most of my good friends. They complain about all the things I used to complain about. Drinking related problems and issues. The same old shit. They havent made any changes in their lives. They have the same old problems.
It makes me happy that I have made many changes. I no longer create alcohol problems to complain about. I still love them, but I don’t like to listen to their shit. It makes me miss them less.
Sometimmes my alcoholic thinking tries to make me miss being the social butterfly I think am when I drink. Buts its all bullshit. I cant drink just a few. I always drink to much, make an ass out of myself, and do things I regret. Many times I dont remember and get to hear about it later. I dont miss that.
COVID has made AA hard to connect with in my area, but its a great place to make sober friends. If you live in a bigger city its really easy to find a sober social life in AA. They have alot of activities that they get together and do. Camping, Hiking, snowboarding, fishing. those are activities I enjoy, and have done in AA.
Don’t let feeling of loneliness trick you into thinking your missing out. Your just making a transformation. Its awkward at first.
Clubs and beer garden never change. Find new interests, and do them by yourself if you have to. I enjoy doing activities by myself too. Especially hiking, camping, anything outdoors. I get clarity of mind in nature.
I totally understand completely I too feel lonely at times and when I feel spiritually fit I do go join my friends at the drinking place but only if I feel strong enough in my sobriety! I actually do have fun and I do laugh and show all of them how well I’m doing and how much fun I have being sober