My stinking thinking

I am 1 year and 4 months clean. I am on the vivitrol shot. I was going to get off the shot 2 weeks ago then my stinking thinking started kicking in… I started thinking how I can use just once when I’m off the shot and off parole but I don’t want that at all. I’m sick and tired of thinking that way and just wish it would stop and go away. This has been going on even after I decided to stay on the shot for the past two maybe three weeks. I just wanted to share a little of what’s been going through my head, that’s only the little part going on.

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Glad you came here and shared, you don’t gotta battle that thought alone. Truth be told I get thoughts of just one wont hurt all the time, but I combat those thoughts with killing it’s romance. I think about the holes I put in the wall, the jail cell I landed in, the constant and vicious fighting with the wife and all the other depraved things I did.

I really like the play the tape/think the drink through tool. It’s easy for our addictions to make us remember all the “good times” and “great feelings”.

Always remember what will happen, the shitty stuff, if you join the “one won’t hurt club”

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I agree with that, I play it through also but then replace it with a different and better Thought and remember all the crap I went through because of that one time. And how that one time never ends up being just one time.

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Ain’t that the truth? When has it ever been 'just one?". Not since my first sip of alcohol…

Remember the song by Linkin Park titled In The End? The commencing lyrics it starts with one thing. Implement that with any addiction. It starts with one beer, cigarette, etc.