My story after 3.5 yrs sober

So lets see where to begin… I spent 11 years addicted to meth. I was never one that ran the streets or got into trouble but was pretty good at making ppl mad lol. About 4 yrs ago child services was called and someone told then I was addicted to drugs. Well they removed my kids and my sons father took both my babies for me so i had nothing to worry about. After 3 months I finally went to treatment but was handed back my kids literally right after completing treatment. Well to an addict that was way to easy. Played the system once again… So i thought. Well after 3 weeks of bringing my daughter home (my son stayed with his father to finish the school year) I walked in on my step dad (the only dad i ever knew) and him and my daughter were under a blanket with my daughter in a swimming suit. I immediately knew what I just walked into but i didnt say a word I just git my baby and went strait to the hospital where there they confirmed molestation. Well after being sent to a childrens hospital and rape kits and all the child advocacy child services then drug tested me again where of course after 11 years of self medicating I was high. They removed my daughter from my home a 2nd time. It later was mentioned that he had been doing it about 2 yrs (she was 3). I just kept replaying in my head how because of my addiction my baby girl… My worst fear came true. Her innocence. I had failed her as a mother. It was then that i knew i had to be bigger than my disease. I checked back into treatment for real this time I took all my tools with me. I drownded myself in meetings and outpatient treatment after released. 6 months into recovery my fiance at the time had decided life was to hard sober and used 1 last time. It was truly his last time. I woke up to the phone call he was gone. I promised myself id never be that phone call for my kids mom or gma. After that i moved back home with my gma and for the next year i was in robot mode. Nothing but work and home. The next year i decided I wanted to actually put focus into deciding and discovering who I am sober. A man once told me the hard part is over. Making up ur mind is the hard part. Deciding u r going to do this and having the will power to stick with it. He said to me eventuslly days turn into months and months into that first year. After that it becomes a new habbit. Well that stuck with me forever. This last year has been the toughest of all for myself tho. Learning what u do and dont like to do. My mental health has struggled the most. But 11 months after losing my babies they came home. They been home almost 3 years now and I’ll never risk losing them again. I’ll never trust them with anyone again. And I’ll never put them or myself in another position for all my hard work to go down the drain. Now I’m 3.5 yrs sober. Assistant GM of my job. 2 cars. My own duplex. I provide not just for myself and kids but my mother and gma also. I know this post is kind of scattered but if u r interested to know more just lmk I’ll give all the detail u need to know u r not alone. We can overcome anything we truly want. Just for today will save your life more than hurt it. And lastly god loves u and I love u and I r worth it.

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Thank you for sharing pal. Gosh, to anyone that thinks that they CANT get sober, just read this story. I know that it can give you hope.

I am sorry for your struggle. It broke my heart a little to read it. But it gave me hope that any of us can come out on the other side. Just like you have.

Glad you’re here. Glad you kiddos have you. Keep coming back!

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Jeez, woww, holy moly. That’s a lifetime and well done you, you stood tall and turned that huge, stinking, sinking tanker around and you hit dry land for good. Your a very very strong lady. Use it and let as many people know about your story. X Godbless

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Thank u so much for that. Typing it makes it sound much easier than it really was. Amd I’m also not one that shares much of my story so I feel I was a little of everywhere but it was so worth every struggle. I still have days that its hard. Days I wake up and im not so sure I can do this. Certain smells or tastes give me anxiety. To much caffein or a crash from to much energy r triggers for me. It is still a fight every single day and I still live by just for today with everything I do in my new life. I still have a very long way to go BUT I am proud of who and where I am in my new life now. Thanks for the encouraging words :heart_eyes:

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Thanking stephen god bless u as well

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Wow, you are a very strong lady. Thank you for sharing your story. It is very interesting to hear of others stories. I thought I had been through a lot.

I’m 12 days about to be 13 into quitting my last addiction. well of ther than pop and chocolates. Weed has never been my choice but quitting it has been extremely difficult. I know I can do it. Any advice on making it through the first month?

Not on the weed. I do not count marajuana as an addiction. It does so much for the world now days and is legal where I live. I am one whom has a medical card. Its one that I dont know if I could still be meth free without it. After treatmemt they had me on 6 dofferent medications a day 4 for anxiety. I felt like a robot. If i forgot (because pills r hard for me) I would have to have my mom bring my meds to work. I had 1 that if I got to got it made me dizzy (I worked for a deep cleaning company) so most summer days I struggled. Then I did some research and found out about medical. I then joined a sisters group on fb full of recovered women who still smoke. At first i struggled I felt like it meant I wasnt sober but the. I discovered there are so many people out there with 10-15 yrs clean who still smoke. Never have I smoked a blunt and wanted to contact my old meth dealer. I alologize that I can not offer u any help with quitting but I can tell u ur not alone. And im proud of u. Because my story may be rougher than yours but ur will power and ability to be have a fully pure body is much greater than mine. :kissing_heart::kissing_heart:

I agree, I never thought of weed as an addiction. My main reason for quitting is because I got my CDL and get randomly drug tested. It has been very hard to quit. Its extremely difficult some days not having anything to take the edge off. I have contemplated smoking cigarettes but never liked the taste.

I hope you are doing good. Today made 18 dad for me. It’s an accomplishment being that I have had some type of drug in my system for the past 16 years.

Message anytime.