My Long story short… kinda
My dad is an alcoholic
My mum is an alcoholic
They split after 25 years because mum couldn’t deal with dad’s alcoholism… he was worse.
I started binge drinking at 14.
Have stopped a couple times over the years but it never lasted because I never really admitted I had an issue and it was never a ‘thing’ so it didn’t matter when I had a drink again.
The last three years after meeting my current partner have been the worst. I swore I wouldn’t date an alcoholic, but here I am now in a 3 year relationship with another alcoholic.
I gained a shitload of weight since being with him because, we drink, that’s what we do, every single day at times. Whether we are together or not. Lucky we don’t live together or it’d be worse.
Anyway, my depression and anxiety and weight gain was bad and I finally decided I’d had enough of feeling hopeless. I couldn’t focus on work, my memory getting worse, missing out on time with my growing kids (ages 15,14 and 11) due to being drunk or hungover.
I’ve known that I have a problem for many years but have never quite been ready and willing to just stop.
Til now. After New year’s I decided I had to lose weight, this meant I had to stop drinking. I thought it would only be until I reach my goal weight, but now I feel so amazing and like a different person, I want to make it permanent if I can.
I’ve lost 9kg and have about 5kg left to reach my goal weight.
I’m 1 month and 21 days sober. I’ve also been able to halve my medication for my anxiety and depression.
My partner still drinks himself silly, then wonders why he can’t sleep properly and why he is so depressed. But I can’t say anything, he has told me he has to drink to deal with life and doesn’t want to be sober.
I love him, especially when he is sober, but I don’t think we could ever live together and sometimes wonder if we have a future. I just hope that seeing me happy and thriving sober it might motivate him to at least drink less. I’ve told him I prefer him stoned (he smokes weed), rather than drunk, because he’s an angry drunk but a happy stoner.
So that’s me in a nutshell…