My story, long but cut short.. kinda

My Long story short… kinda
My dad is an alcoholic
My mum is an alcoholic
They split after 25 years because mum couldn’t deal with dad’s alcoholism… he was worse.
I started binge drinking at 14.
Have stopped a couple times over the years but it never lasted because I never really admitted I had an issue and it was never a ‘thing’ so it didn’t matter when I had a drink again.
The last three years after meeting my current partner have been the worst. I swore I wouldn’t date an alcoholic, but here I am now in a 3 year relationship with another alcoholic.
I gained a shitload of weight since being with him because, we drink, that’s what we do, every single day at times. Whether we are together or not. Lucky we don’t live together or it’d be worse.

Anyway, my depression and anxiety and weight gain was bad and I finally decided I’d had enough of feeling hopeless. I couldn’t focus on work, my memory getting worse, missing out on time with my growing kids (ages 15,14 and 11) due to being drunk or hungover.

I’ve known that I have a problem for many years but have never quite been ready and willing to just stop.

Til now. After New year’s I decided I had to lose weight, this meant I had to stop drinking. I thought it would only be until I reach my goal weight, but now I feel so amazing and like a different person, I want to make it permanent if I can.

I’ve lost 9kg and have about 5kg left to reach my goal weight.

I’m 1 month and 21 days sober. I’ve also been able to halve my medication for my anxiety and depression.

My partner still drinks himself silly, then wonders why he can’t sleep properly and why he is so depressed. But I can’t say anything, he has told me he has to drink to deal with life and doesn’t want to be sober.

I love him, especially when he is sober, but I don’t think we could ever live together and sometimes wonder if we have a future. I just hope that seeing me happy and thriving sober it might motivate him to at least drink less. I’ve told him I prefer him stoned (he smokes weed), rather than drunk, because he’s an angry drunk but a happy stoner.

So that’s me in a nutshell…

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Hi Megan! So glad you are here and appreciate your share. I’ve gained 20 plus pounds over 2020 all from alcohol. I’m 21 days in after struggling mightily for the last year. Pandemic wasn’t helpful for my sobriety. Look forward to seeing you around TS. This is a great place to be.

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Welcome MeganAnn! I’m married to an alcoholic who continued to drink very heavy daily during the entire first year of my sobriety. It was very difficult living under the same roof. We barely talked because he was always buzzed when we’d get home from work in the evenings. When we did talk it always turned into an argument that he’d never remember anyway.

I was hoping he’d see how sobriety was helping me and jump on board but that never happened. I couldn’t continue living in hell and finally gave him an ultimatum. Thankfully that worked and he’s sober now. Our relationship is by no means perfect and we have a lot of other issues to work on but at least we’re both sober and willing to put in the work.

I look forward to getting to know you better and wish you the best on your journey.

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Hi Megan! Sounds like you have taken to sobriety really well :smile: congrats on your days! I really hope you stick around and hopefully not let the influence of your partner sway your decision on sobriety.

Speaking from Mom to Mom, it’s so much better being a sober parent. A lot can get better without much effort (stay sober, work a program) and your connection with yourself will improve so much too.

Welcome :white_heart:

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Oh my gosh Megan that was my catalyst to sobriety too! That’s awesome that you’re sober and going strong! Fabulous! Still make a long term plan and enjoy that sober life!

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Thanks LeeHawk. It makes me feel better knowing I’m not the only one going through all this.

Yeah I definitely drank more last year, although I still worked during most of it, my kids were home more, meaning no school drop off, so I didn’t have to get up, plus they drove me crazy making me want to drink more.

Thank you Lisa. This give me hope that one day, maybe my partner will drink less. I don’t expect him to become sober, but it would be nice if he didn’t drink to the point of passing out every weekend and getting angry with me and/or the world.

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Yeah I had enough of being overweight. It felt horrible and so did my head.

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So true, I’m looking forward to being present for my kids, even though my two youngest do kinda drive me crazy a lot of the time. Haha.

I’ll try not to let my partner away me, i can’t see it happening any time soon though. This sober feeling is too good.

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Welcome Megan. I think it’s terrific you are doing this for yourself. A sure sign you are making the right choices for the right reasons. I’m sorry your partner still is drinking and smoking, but you please keep doing you for you. As you are. I hope this community can be as helpful as it has been and still is for me. together this whole sobriety stuff is much better to do. Welcome again and all success in your sober journey.

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Thank you Mno :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

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