Hello everybody my name is Krazy Chef. I have been a porn addict now for at least over a decade now. It started off as just being curious and now has snowballed into a massive addiction. The last few weeks have been quite hell honestly. Deep down inside I know I can defeat this addiction and put it to rest for good but I keep failing over and over again. My confidence is at an absolute zero as of right now. Sorry for the vague introduction but right now my head is so cloudy as the days and weeks go on I will fill you all in on the missing pieces.
8 Likes
Hey chef, I feel you 100%. Generally the same story, at 97.88 days clean now. I don’t think I could’ve done it without coming here and talking so you’re on the right track. Good luck, don’t tap out.
5 Likes
Welcome to the community KrazyChef. Take your time and look after yourself. 100% you can do this
3 Likes
Welcome @KrazyChef its nice to meet you here 
My name is Matt and I am recovering from a porn addiction too.
I see porn addiction as the same as sex addiction: in both cases, it is about objects and images; none of it is intimate, it is all about some lustful fantasy. Whether the sexual activity is solo or paired (or otherwise), the basic practice - chasing some imaginary sexual / orgasmic high - is the same fruitless cycle.
I shared recently on another thread with a very similar topic, I’ll link it here so you can read my longer response there. Welcome to Talking Sober!
3 Likes
I can totally relate brother 1 hour at a time. What helps me is I replace porn with something I’m interested in or like to learn about on YouTube. Just hold in there and keep fighting.
2 Likes
Thank you so much for the reply! and congrats on the 90+ days clean you are nearing a 100 days clean that is awesome!
1 Like
Thank you! I won’t give up.
2 Likes
Thank you! For the reply and sharing information about this addiction I will give it a read.
2 Likes
Thanks! For the reply Yes replacing porn with something productive I need to work on for sure. I won’t give up.
1 Like
The guy that said take it one hour at a time is right, you don’t always have to live like that but when that like cloud of inspiration to look at porn descends it seems like something happens to time and then yeah, just keep on marching through the swamp.
2 Likes
Hello all I am struggling but I will not give up. Right now I trying to claw my way out of this murky waters that I find myself in. Turns out I cant count the sober days free due to the fact it makes me feel trapped. Then I spent money on three onlyfans content now I feel bad for wasting money. It feels like theres just no end in sight with this addiction. But seriously I feel ashamed buying onlyfans content and wasting money like that.
2 Likes
Thanks for the vaulable insight I truly appreciate it! Right now I am coming up with a plan to get me to the sober life. Hitting rock bottom was truly an eye opener now the only way is up I truly believe that with my heart and soul also I am looking forward to building a life free of porn. I just hope god has not forsaken me yet im not that religious but I do believe there is a god up there and this porn addiction will not define who I truly am in this life. Its time I stop half assing recovery.
What you just said means a whole lot!
This will be a challenge it will be one of the hardest things I will ever defeat. The good news is I said the samething about OCD but I defeated it.
Hi, Just wanted to let you know there is a chat on PMO recovery that might prove to be very helpful in your journey. I’ve talked at length about my journey with Porn (exposed at age 8/9 20+ years addicted, 62 days sober). I encourage you to search for that chat. You are far from alone and alot of us have been down this road. I’ve had 5 months free, 6 months free, but it’s the consistency, the planning (7 day plan) your connection/sponsors, that is finally helping me stay free. Combine that with Safety measures on your phone, and it’s an ALL IN APPROACH. My danger zones were from 930pm - 7am. I use “lock me out” that’s impossible to delete from my phone. I can’t access the internet or no sites that jump to the internet. On my iphone i use screen time. Covenant eyes is great because you can give it to your sponsor, they can literally see at times what’s on your phone screen. Atomic Habits from James clear is my book of the Year for Sobriety. It’s not about Goals: Its about SYSTEMS YOU’VE SET UP EVERY SINGLE DAY TO BE SAFE. One last recommendation: The Eazy Way to quit your porn addiction. You can find this on that chat in Talking sober. Sorry for such a long message, this is my struggle too, my war, and i prefer to make Chess moves throughout the course of a day to keep me safe. Take care.
Porn Free Radio by Matt Dobbshuetz.
EPISODE 319: THE 12 COMMITMENTS THAT LED TO MASTERY
EPISODE 316: 10 WAYS TO SPEED UP YOUR RECOVERY
EPISODE 312: AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS
EPISODE 310******: THE 7 DAY PORN FREE PLAN
EPISODE 309: IS THERE HOPE FOR ME?
EPISODE 306 - HOW SUCCESSFUL GUYS OVERCOME EDGING
EPISODE 300 - BE YOUR FUTURE SELF NOW
EPISODE 299 - WHAT CAN YOU DO TO GUARD YOURSELF AGAINST TEMPTATION?
EPISODE 295 - MY 10 PORN RULES
EPISODE 252 - CRAVING IS NOT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENS TO YOU
#246 - #248 - PERSONAL MASTERY PT 1 - 3.
I took the time to lay these out because it’s so incredibly helpful.
I LIKE THIS PODCAST BECAUSE IT’S PRACTICAL, THINGS YOU CAN DO LITERALLY RIGHT NOW.
TAKE NOTES. START APPLYING WHAT YOU LEARN, CHECK IN WITH YOUR TEAM OR HERE, AND WE CAN GET THIS THING DONE TOGETHER BRO.
1 Like
What chat are you talking about? Not sure where that is (Edit: unless you mean the thread on here, I was thinking something else)
Good luck chef. Posting the relapses seemed to help me too partially because the shame of feeling like I let people on here down really got to me. I’m at 111 days though, and haven’t MO’d in probably 40+ days but I didn’t make a counter for that because I didn’t set that as a goal right away. Nevertheless I’m in the best condition since I got here and keeping in touch and not hiding relapses was a big part of that.
2 Likes
1 Like
Hi can you share what you’re looking for when you go to only fans. Are you looking to sooth your stress. You looking for connection. Please share your feelings. Thank you so much.
Thats a very good question. So when I was watching porn I had two adult film actresses I watched the most I subscribed in hoping to talk with them but I quickly felt guilt in spending hard earned on two adult actresses that didnt even most likely cared I even existed. So I would say it would fall under the topic of looking to build a connection. Looking back that was an utter delusion. Hope this helps!
Hi it does some.
I guess I was looking why a porn addict is so addicted to only fans. Like they look at work, at home… at events with kids. Is it the chatting that goes on. The images the videos. Are you looking for connection? Is it anxiety, stress. Only fans in my opinion from loving a porn addict… is absolutely fake. These girls are just as bad feeding the addict. What’s your thoughts and thank you for responding. My heart is broken the man I love to the moon and back is being controlled by only fans and more.
Im so sorry that your S/O is being controlled by this addiction and I am so sorry for the hurt that you are currently feeling. I am not the smartest but I shall try and answer. Well me I was under the delusion that I could build a connection with the adult actresses but quickly I snapped out of it and I thought to myself no this is not what I want. See Onlyfans is just another avenue this addiction takes difference is money is going out the window. Yes Porn is 100% fake their is no loving that goes into that and onlyfans provides that false sense of personal intimacy even if done through a screen. In reality though its just porn. To really answer this its a combination but it really boils down to escalation of supposed chatting with adult film stars and watching their supposed scenes strictly tailored towards the subscriber its all a delusion. I hope I answered this more detailed.