Name struggles \m/

My parents said that if i go by one name for an entire year, then they would call me by that name.

A little back story. I wasn’t born Aura X.P. (I don’t feel comfortable putting my birth name out there…) and I was having trouble picking a name for myself, until I settled on Aura Xanthe.

Anyways, its been a year, and im wondering if i should bring it up to them again. I did a couple weeks ago, and they said “we’ll see”


You could always just consistently correct people whenever they don’t use that name. For example, in a conversation, if someone uses your old name(s), you just consistently say, “my name is actually ____”, then move on with the conversation. No messy explanation, no conflict, just a consistent standard. Eventually they’ll catch on.


My best friends daughter, now son, changed their name. They do what Matt said and just correct people. Even their little brother had a hard time with the change just because he was so use to calling them another name. After a few months of correcting by saying remember I’m now ___ has helped his bother call them by the new name. Even I have to catch myself sometimes.
Personally, I’d bring it up again as a conversation and just let them know this is what I’ve decided and from there start correcting.


My husband’s real name is John. That is what is legally pn paper. But he goes by Giovanni (the Italian version of John bcuz he is Italian and wants to represent his Italian side of the family). Everyone knows him by Gio and the only time he ever uses Joh. Is for signing stuff etc. Do you legally want it changed? Or could you just approach people that know you and say, “making some changes right now and my name is one of them” (sort of thing). The new people u meet u can mention ur new name and they wouldn’t have to remember lol

Im legally gonna change it. Once i get the money.


Its hard when my granny tells me “ Aura is just a dirty thing, that you came up with blah blah blah” i don’t listen past that…. She doesnt believe that i want to change my name because, well personal reasons,. But I’ll definitely try that from now on with my parents and my uncle.


It’s hard when people who are close to us are dismissive in that way. Don’t let it get to you. You’ve got control of all the things that really matter. :innocent:

I dont know how though. You mean my sobriety? Cause im barely hanging on

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No. You don’t control your sobriety. You control your choices.

Life is unpredictable; life is always changing. It never stops changing; you never get to a point where you’ve “got it” - because that’s not the point. (If you ever got to that point, you’d stop growing, stop learning, and since life is about growth, you gotta keep learning.)

You control your choices. You choose how you approach your day; you choose whether you’re going to resist your life or if you’re going to work creatively and constructively with it.

If I go to the grocery store and they don’t have the grapes I wanted, I can feel bad about not having grapes or I can get creative and try a new type of fruit. Those are both choices, but they lead to very different experiences for me: one is an experience of suffering, one is an experience of empowerment.

You always have a choice. Take some time to breathe, and practice sitting with your feelings. Feelings come and go, but you can always choose to accept them, non-judgmentally. Eventually they will pass :innocent:


I’ve never learned how to “properly” handle my emotions. Ive been told to never show them. So i just didn’t. Im learning in DBT to not judge my thoughts. Which is hard, its so hard. But i understand what you’re saying