No. You don’t control your sobriety. You control your choices.
Life is unpredictable; life is always changing. It never stops changing; you never get to a point where you’ve “got it” - because that’s not the point. (If you ever got to that point, you’d stop growing, stop learning, and since life is about growth, you gotta keep learning.)
You control your choices. You choose how you approach your day; you choose whether you’re going to resist your life or if you’re going to work creatively and constructively with it.
If I go to the grocery store and they don’t have the grapes I wanted, I can feel bad about not having grapes or I can get creative and try a new type of fruit. Those are both choices, but they lead to very different experiences for me: one is an experience of suffering, one is an experience of empowerment.
You always have a choice. Take some time to breathe, and practice sitting with your feelings. Feelings come and go, but you can always choose to accept them, non-judgmentally. Eventually they will pass