Been in rooms for 20 years. Mostly AA but also tried a few NA and OA (anorexia/bulimia). Currently doing CODA steps. Chemicals (mostly rx prescribes) drug of choice but lately daily daily drinking again. Initially had 9 years, then maybe 5, 2 years twice and relapsed again in the last year.
I want to stay stopped but have relapsed so many times and with less time in between. It would devastate my family if they know the truth although they may suspect but prefer not to know. I don’t think husband has surviving another relapse in him. I can’t face hurting him or being honest with my sponsor or the same faces in the rooms.
Need somewhere where I can be completely honest without fear. Major trust issues.
I’m doing zoom meetings. Last drink yesterday. I want and have prayed so much for it to be finished. Need suggestions and a place to be honest. Thanks.