Need some reminders

Today is day 17. I’m at the point where I’ve started to forget how bad it was when I drank and rationalize that I can handle it if I just set up some rules and boundaries. Cognitively I know this is false, but I need some help convincing myself that this is the best and only path I can choose, my sobriety.

Can anyone offer advice or assistance to me in this state right now? What to think about or do? I have a lot of crossroads coming up that will offer trying moments of a drink right in front of me. The freshly sober thoughts and actions don’t seem to be cutting I right now. Please, if you can, share with me some useful thoughts. Thank you!!!

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Ioccupy yourself, have an escape plan. Is it really worth it? Obviously there are moments that brought you to the point where you felt sobriety was more important. Keep those thoughts and that desire in your head and in your heart of all places. If you can find someone to call on and go do something to get your mind off of it.

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for me a meeting helped maybe try one get phone numbers and meet people who have the same prob might help wish you well

Thank you @Ray_M_C_Laren

You and I both know ‘one drink’ is nothing but a gateway to bad decisions. Think about it. When in your life have you had just 1 drink? It doesn’t happen. Ever. 1 drink puts you in the mindset to let your guard down and have 10 more-at least. I am sure you have lost people and things in your life that are important to you. Honestly, what has helped me stay clean is thinking about everything I went through to break away. The pain and suffering, the people who dropped out of my life, the opportunities to better my situation that I lost… You are at a very tenuous point, but at this point have your wits about you, be anylotical. Check the boxes in your mind and you will come to the right conclusion. Good luck. This road is more difficult, but nothing worth having is easy.

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I’ve tried that same kind of rationalization. I’ll just drink X amount tonight, I’ll stop at 10 p.m., I’ll pour half the bottle into something else and save that for tomorrow. But, I’m sure you know as well as I do that once I got a buzz going, all those rules went out the window. My drunk mind couldn’t adhere to the limitations set by my sober mind. The two are at war with each other but we have the final decision as to which one will win each day.

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I’m on day 19… I was sober for a year and a half before I relapsed back in May and it’s been harder to get back sober, the drinking got worse than before and I’ve added more regrets to my story… I thought I had control this time too. I thought I could have a couple drinks but then once I had those drinks something in my mind flipped and I was drunk every single time. No matter how hard I tried. You came here for a reason- write down that reason, repeat that reason out loud and then go to a meeting! You got this!

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congrats on your time. do you have a sponsor? that has been the key for me along with faith and working the steps! Keep up the great work!

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@Mike_Davis, not sure if you were asking @Saigebrean or me, by no I don’t have a sponsor and I never think of it when I can go about trying to acquire one. I am doing AA, but I don’t know the system for getting one. I think I have subconsciously avoided it bc I generally don’t like ppl and don’t have much in common with most women. And finding someone you jive with… I dunno, maybe I’m looking at it wrong. You’re right, that’s really the next stepfor me and next level of commitment to this. Thank you.

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You guys are all awesome, thank you so much for your responses. It’s really helped me strategize and plan ahead so I don’t do anything I’ll regret. I really appreciate it!

If I may, finding a sponsor I “jive with” did nothing for me. I tried. I tried to find someone cool. But I never took them seriously for that very reason. What I needed was that ornery old coot sitting in the corner with 30+ yrs sobriety who wasn’t gonna put up with my shit. Someone who would guide me along but hold me accountable. Often times the best sponsor is someone you have absolutely nothing in common with. They’re not there to be my bud. They’re there to show me how to get and stay sober. And you can have more than one too. But going without a sponsor in AA is like sitting on a two legged stool. Don’t be discouraged if you ask someone and they decline. They may already be sponsoring someone and might not be able to give you the attention you need to succeed. Just listen at meetings, watch who raises their hand when the chairperson asks who’s willing to be a sponsor. Humbly approach someone before or after the meeting, informing them you are seeking a sponsor to work the steps and liked what they had to share during the meeting. This is a great ice breaker. They’ll either offer themselves up as a sponsor or steer you to someone they think can help you. Hope this helps. It was the same advice given to me and proved invaluable.

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Thanks @Monk, great advice. I did mean “jive” more like kick my butt into shape when i started to falter. I would hope to find someone with similar values and be less of a friend, so that when I got mad at everything or needed to fess up about something, I didn’t feel like I was damaging a friendship. A few friends have offered to be a similar support, but I’ve turned them down bc I down want to resent them for being tough when I need it, you know?

Sounds like you have a good handle on what you need. I would suggest however to at least get a “temporary sponsor” in the meantime. People are pretty good about that proposition as well. In my own experience whenever I asked someone if they could be my temporary sponsor they invariably ended up being my regular sponsor. But the temporary thing is a good ice breaker and gives each of you a chance to test drive the situation. Generally your sponsor should be the same gender to avoid any 13th stepping, have at least a year of sobriety though that’s not set in stone, and have a working knowledge of the steps. Once you get one I think you’ll find the accountability somewhat of a relief because you’ll know you have someone that’s vested in your recovery. But remember, a sponsor can’t get or keep you sober. They can only show you how to stay sober. In return the sponsor’s sobriety is bolstered because there’s nothing better for getting through rough days in sobriety than working with another alcoholic. So you see its beneficial for both parties. Now go get one. Good luck. God bless.

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Yeah my girlfriend had a hard time finding a sponsor to but when she found the right person she was able to open up to them and that’s really the key big being able to unload all your stuff on someone. You just have to find someone that you can relate to maybe someone who has a similar story to yours and try going to different meetings around where you live. I hope this helps, one more day!

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If you could handle it, you wouldn’t have come here in the first place.
I know everyone gets tired of me saying this, but “PLAN, PLAN, PLAN.” Planning keeps you busy and occupied.
Best,
Chandler

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