Thank you for the support, Rosa
Yesterday was one of those days…I was doing ok on the surface, but so fed up, so tired…one of my main triggers to go to the f-it mode and reach for a drink.
I really was considering it. Can you believe it?
That is why I was so angry at myself. HOW could I still be bargaining with myself and rationalizing that it could be ok?
I reached for some cookies instead and while watching a movie, did something that I’ve done for a while. Whenever people are drinking on screen, I ask myself: is this happy? Most of the times, drinking on screen is associated with stress, sadness, anger or bad behavior. If it’s a happy or family occasion: Is this drink adding anything good? Is it essential for he happiness of that moment? and so on…most of the time I find that I don’t wish I was repeating the scene I see on screen.
Then I had coffee with a friend.
Then went walking with another friend.
Then dinner with my kids. Reading in bed for one of them - a story I really like.
And then I went to bed.
Three cheers! Nicely done.
Hosting Thanksgiving dinner for 35 guests today. In the past 2 years it completely derailed my sobriety.
Very, very conscious of it.
This year will be different. It has to be.
It will be different because you will make it so. It’s you at the wheel Anna, despite all the lies you might hear as whispers in your head from the addicted part of your brain. 35 Guests is a lot! Hope it will be enjoyable. I’d say you need your sober wits to make it all work smoothly. Have a good sober party friend. Hugs.
Thank you, Menno. Navigating it so far. I’ve done this for the past 10 years, and it’s my favorite holiday to host but in the last few years I ended up not in a good place in the days that followed.
Last year a dear, dear friend noticed how I started avoiding being with everyone later in the evening. I think she attributed it in part to me being a bit on the sad side. There was a lot going on at that time. But I’m sure she noticed also that I was feeling self conscious about the fact that I had too much to drink.
This time, I want to have a good night and a good day after I don’t want to “disappear” anymore.
The decorations look very nice. Turkeys are roasting. Drinks are ready but not for me. I have my own, some NA flavored sparkling drinks.
I want this to go well this time.
It was one of my favorite Thanksgiving celebrations…ever.
Everyone had a good time, it was very nice and cozy. I was able to chat with all my guests and give them a warm welcome. The food was good, the music just right, the weather was beautiful.
Thankful for so much. Most of all for being all there and not having that first drink. I felt the pull many times during the day, evening and after everyone was gone.
Kept a glass of sparkling drink in my hand any time I could, and had a cozy cup of tea with pecan pie at the end. Asked my husband to put away the leftover drinks at the end. I didn’t want them lingering there.
My first Thanksgiving sober. wow.
Sounds perfect, glad you had a great time