Hello, I am new here and hoping that this will be a form of AA. I am a wife, mother of 3, work full time and go to school part time so I rarely have time to myself let alone attend any meetings. Both of my parents have passed. I am only 33. They were also both alcholics. My dad was a funtional alcoholic and my mom was a binger. I started drinking heavily during my divorce to my first husband. Not having my kids with me full time was unbearable and booze helped me cope. I met someone who helped me through and I laid off the booze for a while. We got married and we had a beautiful son. A year after our son was born my dad died unexpectedly. My family fell apart and I took on the only thing I could think of to cover that pain. This was over 5 years ago. I have drank almost every day since. Although I still take care of my kids, go to work, keep a 3.5 GPA in school, my quality of life sucks. I’m either buzzed or craving that buzz. I have attempted to stay clean and can almost make it a few days before giving up. I really want to be clean and not repeat my parents mistakes. I need to be here for my kids not die at 47 and 60 because I neglected to care for my body. Anyway, that is where I’m at. Any advice is welcome.
Hi @Tay welcome 
firstly well done on starting to want to get help it’s a huge step. Alcohol is all consuming yet so easy to use to help change the way we feel. Its legal and readily available and widely accepted. You already have huge insight into into the trouble it causes with your parents. I can relate completely to why you use alcohol, I started using alcohol to cope when I went through a divorce and very quickly became a daily drinker leading to being physically and mentally addicted, it just crept up on me and I got really sick. You can stay sober a day at a time but it’s almost impossible to stay stopped by going it alone without support from like minded people which you will find here in this forum. I’m 31 years old and have been sober nearly a year. I ended up in rehab but have stayed sober through aa. You have found one of the many places available to seek support, this forum is great for online support, I’d recommend considering going to an aa meeting to meet people in person too
Hi @Tay I can relate to your post. I’m a 33 year old working mum with a very busy lifestyle. Alcohol crept up on me, daily drinking turned to all day drinking which led me straight to rehab. I’ve struggled a lot to quit but found that regardless of how stubborn or independent I am I can’t do this alone. I found that even though I felt I didn’t have time or I didn’t want to go I decided I had time to drink so I had time for AA meetings. If that’s not for you then maybe an alcohol counsellor could help? Forums and blogs are fab but you also need some real people to talk to, phone numbers of people to call when you are struggling. People told me if I didn’t make time for my recovery then I wouldn’t have any time at all. Post lots and read lots it does help. Xx
I’m really proud of you, Tay! I have been a closet binge drinker off and on for most of my life. I’m raising my boys, doing the “good mom and wife” things I’m supposed to do. Very high functioning. At least I was until September 2015. That was my first rehab. I mixed booze and pills. To my family, it seemingly came out of no where. In rehab, I realized that I had a 30 year alcohol and drug problem and not what I thought were incidents that were unimportant. Please don’t try to do this alone. Absolutely, do one day, one hour, one minute at a time. I can message you my number. I’m not in a position to sponsor, but I can talk to you. I know what it’s like to try to quit alone and what it’s like to want to get help, look through your contacts on your phone and feel lonely because none of your friends understand your life. I’ll post my number here if you want. Just let me know.
Thank you all for the warm welcomes and support. Literally brought tears to my eyes. I will look into meetings today and see if there are any that I can make at least once a week. I remember my mom going to them and when she was she was the happiest I had ever seen her. I am having a hard time talking to my husband about this due to him not knowing how much I was actually drinking.
I would love to have your support! Even if I could text you during difficult noments. And yes finding people in my phone is hard. Most of them are either drinkers or not the supportive type.
I’m glad you’re going to try the meetings. I’m also just doing 1 or 2 a week along with this forum & reading,& a bit of meditation. It’s day 24 & without those things I’d be right back where I started. The people in those meetings and here are so supportive it’s really amazing. Use them both to help YOU & let your higher power lead you on your new journey to sobriety & happiness . You can do this!!!
Just read these posts about partners, I was so scared to tell anyone about my drinking but in the end i go so sick it was obvious to everyone close to me that I was an alcoholic so when I told my loved ones they already knew. I hid my drinking from my partner for 5 years… he had no idea for a very long time untill one day he asked me and I was honest for once! I think anyone who cares enough will support you in you wanting to get better, you learn in recovery basically who your real loved ones are. My partner actually threw me out when I was waiting to go to rehab because my behaviour towards him was unbearable although he knew that I had places to go and now we are still close but no longer together as I realised and was told that I had to let the relationship go to increase my chances of staying sober. Stay strong and do this for you 1st. Everything else will fall into place.