Going to testify in court tomorrow for an incident that happened nearly 6 months ago when I was drinking heavily. Went to the public defenders office today and was able to see the video footage from that night that changed my relationship status from taken to single. Granted I wasnt the one arrested but I was the drunken mess talking to the cops naked. So embarrassing, was glad to tell the public defender I will be 30 days sober.
I’m nervous the outcome of this whole trial will drive me to drinking. I don’t want my ex and still love of my life to go to jail and get something put on his record. If he ends up getting convicted he told me we are never going to talk again and if that happens I’m bound to do nothing but drink.
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I am sorry you are going through this.
It sucks, but hiding in a bottle isn’t going to make it not hurt any less and won’t fix anything. As much as I tried, my problems and life always came roaring back. So I was stuck with my problems, my life, and the problems I created from drinking. Now I have to deal with it all… Including the problems I created that are worse than the ones I was running from.
It is a vicious cycle that you have been able to break for thirty days now. Now is the time to lean on others to stay sober during this difficult time.
Is there anyone that can help you through this all?
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I have a couple friends I can talk to but both of them are always drinking so I try not to be around them as much even though they all support me and my sobriety.
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I saw you had trouble making it to meetings before, is there anything you can move around to get one of them to fit?
I would have never imagined that AA meetings would have helped me, but without them and the people in the rooms, I don’t know that I could be on day 147. I lived my life doing it my way, on my own, and not reaching out to others for help. Getting and staying sober was something that was made clear to me that I couldn’t do it on my own.
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Perhaps one day I will have to break down and go,for now I don’t think I could sit and listen to other peoples stories, last time I went years ago it was hard for me and just made me want to drink, but when i did go I was too afraid to share my own story. Maybe if I do open up it will help.
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Wow that is rough, and I feel for you having to do this. Naked on video as your guy is arrested? Must have been quite an ordeal. But my dear doesn’t it come down to 1) he’s the one who did the wrong thing and got arrested 2) it sounds like he’s trying to blame you instead of being a real man and taking responsibility for the messed up thing he did. YOU are being a real woman here and are stepping up to take care of yourself. Being sober, working on getting your kid, making a better life. Don’t let this drag you down dearheart. Let this be the time you stand up for yourself. If this person is going to break it off because of something HE did, you will be better off without. Ex victim here, telling you it will get better! Wish I could give you a real hug. 
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Ummm…you were talking to the cops drunk and naked. No judging. I have surely done much worse but, that seems like enough to make to make us want to stay sober. If the person you love did something that warrants a conviction then just do the right thing. Someone did that to me and I swore I would hate them forever. They did it anyway. It saved my life and now I love them more they could ever imagine. Just always do the right thing. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Just don’t drink or use. Hugs
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Since ive came into sobriety, ive been learning so much. Sobergirl said it, do the right thing. You cant change the past, what’s done is done… i would recommend to be honest about the situation. Lies will only make things worse. Then before you know it, you have to tell more lies to cover up the other lies and its a vicious cycle…
Never have i once found any answers at the bottem of a bottle. Ever! Would a drink really make anything any better, no it would not. You need to feel what you need to feel. You need to accept what has happened, whatever that might be. To accept something doesnt mean you have to like it. But i have to accept shit to move forward in life, even if it is just accepting that it happened, ya know… i do hope tomorrow will give you some sort of reliefe. Let the truth set you free…
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If AA isn’t your thing maybe you can find a counselor or therapist who specializes in alcohol abuse and meet with them one on one? I personally had a counselor that did and found them to be very helpful. Just a thought. Wish you the best with everything. Lots of good advice in this post.
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The pressure he’s putting on you for the outcome of his trial is not fair to you. I can imagine how embarrassing it must be to testify in court about this and I assume you’re doing this to help him. My advice is to take what you can from this experience to further your life and to empower you (nevermind him). Through this experience you will be painfully and publicly owning your issues. That’s not easy! It’s hard core and shows grit and strength. Good luck and congrats on your 30 days.
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That sounds like a very stressful situation. Just don’t pick up. It’ll make it worse in the end!
I’ve been in a similar situation, only I was the one who went to jail, and my girlfriend at the time testified against me. It hurt that she did that and I was angry. I did things and said things I wish I could take back, and at the end of it all, it was all on me, not her and I worked through it. The lesson I learned was that there are things, a lot of things, that are out of my control, and we have to learn to accept that and cope with it in a healthy way. It is not easy, and doesn’t happen overnight, but if you accept it, it will happen.
Thanks everyone.
I stayed sober thru it all and things turned out well in court…even though it was very embarrassing to say how much I hurt him while I was blackout drunk but I made it clear that I am now 30 days sober and that wouldnt have happened if I weren’t drinking. It came down to him defending himself.
Since the incident he has moved out and we both have pretty much gone our own ways. What sucks is that he won’t even talk to me…we both kinda had agreed that we would still be there for each other no matter what. But he hasn’t held up his end, as a matter of fact I let him stay at my place the day I testified because he had to be back in court at 8am the next day. I now know I can’t have him here if he chooses to drink, he left a bottle here and I was strong enough to drain it down the sink.
Guess I need to just try and forget him to make it easier on myself. Just hard when you spend 7 years together.
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Awesome news! Glad to hear it! Your endurance in the face of it is an encouragement. 
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Glad it went well! You are a very strong person, just so you know…
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