I’ve written a new blog post inspired by a session with my therapist. She gave me an analogy to help with my shame and guilt about there being two doors. Behind door #1 is the pain, shame, guilt, and hurt from my past experiences with assault among other events - it is full of twisted lies, confusion, and it’s like trying to make sense out of things that don’t make sense. Behind door #2 is what I know to be true about myself, those experiences, and my life - drasitcally different from the confusion of door #1.
I also discuss a question that my acupuncturist proposed to me about the trauma - “do you know you survived?” which I deepened to “do I know that I deserved to survive?”
I dont why, but my giving a response to what you’ve endured seems a bit strange to me. I hope you dont see it that way but I want to tell you, a total stranger, that what you went thru is horrific but I’m happy for you that you’re finding a way to live beyond and maybe even because of it. There’s some pride and strength that is evident in your writing, that says You’ll not be beaten by it. I wish you continued strength and resolve and a heartfelt wish that you will heal 100% and that the rest of your days will be free of the pain you are carrying. Stay strong Brooke.
Thank you so much. I truly appreciate your words and support. Through the trauma and darkness, there is hope and light. There is a determination and strength that stems from it and that is something that I need to keep reminding myself.
