Day two of my new sober life (hopefully). I’ve always been a major binge drinker and have relied on alcohol to get me through the hard times … and the good times … and the weekends basically. I start drinking on a thursday or friday usually and continue theough to Sunday. I spend the whole week exhausted and sick and crabby with everyone. Alcohol has always been at the centre of every social situation im in. Ive suffered physically from drinking for years and It has affected my mental health really poorly in the last couple of years. I’ve thought about stopping drinking a few times but I’ve only ever lasted 2 - 3 weeks and the minute I’m in a social situation I’m back to square one. This is the first time I’ve ever really been serious and put some planning into stopping drinking. I’ve downloaded podcasts and this app. I’ve told the closest people to me that I’m giving up. I can’t wait to wake up on a Saturday and Sunday morning and not spend the days literally dying and then doing it all over again. I want to enjoy that time with my kids and experience new things. I want to spend my money on things I’ll actually remember doing. But I really am worried about the temptation & the peer pressure associated with drinking. Do I need to become a hermit for a few months while I get used to not drinking first? I’m afraid I’m going to get bored and forget how awful I feel when I’m drinking. I could really do with advice or tips on what others have done to get them through the tempting times xx
Welcome to the community!
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Welcome to the forum! 2022
In terms of being a hermit, that’s what I did when I first started but a lot of it had to do with covid and everything being closed. It was truly a blessing in disguise.
I would highly recommend avoiding social situations that involve alcohol for at least the first few months until you can get yourself into a good sober routine.
It takes quite a while to become comfortable being sober and it’s just not smart or safe to be around people who are drinking (and unfortunately probably don’t care about your sobriety) at first.
Everyone is different but becoming a hermit is what works for me lol. I know good and well I’m not strong enough to put myself in a situation where I’m tempted right now because I will cave. Figure out what works for you. It’s not gonna be easy believe me. I’ve only went 45 days one time in the last 10 years. I’m on day 8 or so right now so I’m still def in the vulnerable stage. But things are much more mellow and enjoyable without. My wife told me yesterday when I drink it’s like someone else takes the wheel and the alcohol is driving. I’m a completely different person. That gets tiring. Good luck! And wish me luck!!!
Congrats on this step. I am hitting 4 months on 2 days and had all the same feelings you’ve had. Good for you for telling those close to you. That support and slow realization that those who love you don’t care that your aren’t drinking, they care that you are happy and the best YOU.
There is a balance between being a hermit and going to the same places (bars etc). Plenty of places where there is alcohol but it is not the main event. If that feels like too much, give yourself some grace and know that most things are temporary. The feelings you have right now (anxiety etc around not drinking) will fade in time. You will get more comfortable with your decision as well in time. So if you need a break from the events and social world, feel free to take it. One thing I’ve learned is alcohol helped me avoid dealing with my issues and when I removed it they were still right there and even harder for a few weeks or month. Then a funny thing happened, I actually dealt with them because I wasn’t numb and the issues you are struggling with seem manageable. You got this, do whatever you need for you.
Thanks so much for your comment. Yeah I think I just need to be strict with myself and say no to nights out or functions for the next while. I need to find some alternative hobbies now - sadly drinking has been my only hobby for years 
x
Well done on day 8! My husband says similar about me. Luckily I know he’s going to be super supportive on it all. It’s friends and other family members I’m more worried about. Its as if there is something wrong with you if you don’t want to drink, I know now that’s there issue and not mine though. But I’ll definitely stay away until I’m strong and confident enough to say no. Good luck with everything 
I’m also on day 2. I’ve also tried multiple times, but we can’t give up! I didn’t sleep very well last night, but I know it will get better. Really looking forward to rest tonight. I’m trying a new nightime routine of some self care. Epsom salt bath, reading and staying off my phone. Maybe some hot tea. The people on this app are supportive so good for you for reaching out!
Thanks so much for your comment. I’ve always used drinking as a coping mechanism also so I’m kind of worried about how I’m going to deal with certain situations and past traumas but I’m actually thinking with the money I save from not drinking I might go to counselling for a while to help with that. Well done on your 4 months too
Thank you for the support, I really appreciate it. I hope you get a better sleep tonight and I will definitely try some of those tips too
Hey Laura! I was reading your post and I thought “I am not the only person who has been doing this!” I had the exact same relationship with alcohol. The longest I stayed sober was a year, and that was only because I had to take UAs. Today is day 20 off of alcohol, and I feel amazing! My oldest son (19) talks to me every day now, and it is wonderful to wake up feeling great 
So when I quit, I was a hermit for about a week or so, and during that time I did extra cleaning, self care, went on walks with my kids, things I enjoy and cleaning is a great way to deal with cravings. But the week before that, I went to a behavioral health place that accepted my Medicaid and while there I was able to see a psychiatrist and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder (which really really explains a lot!) I’ve been prescribed medication for that, and Naltrexone. I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but it’s for cravings… It’s been a life saver along with what I’ve been doing (and job hunting I feel ready to work)
I would definitely say be a hermit as long as you need, avoid negative news on TV, social media, etc., Cleaning, journaling, start your own memoir! Tie dyeing, coloring, make videos of your journey. Google photos recently made a video for me of video and photo clips of my 2 year old from birth until now, and whenever I feel triggered I’ll watch it to remind me why I’m doing this, so I can be healthy for him and he won’t have memories like my oldest son has to deal with…I wish you the very best of luck, and I believe in my heart you are serious, and you can do this… We all can do anything when we take it one day at a time.
Hey Bella! Sounds so familiar. Well done you and thanks for all of the tips. The longest I’ve ever been sober is 7 months and that was just because I was pregnant. Straight after I had both my kids I was back to “normal” drinking…which I can see now was never really normal. I’m just sick of it now. I’m just so worried about certain situations. It’s crazy, I actually have a funeral to go to on Friday. I’m irish, and in Ireland funerals are a MASSIVE drinking day. Straight after the mass everyone goes straight out to the pub and we spend the whole day drinking. And because this one is on a Friday it will escalate into a whole weekend of drinking. I’ve offered to drive a friend to the airport Friday afternoon just so after the funeral Mass I can leave straight away and then I’m planning on turning my phone off because I know the temptation is going to be huge. I think I just need to do that until I feel comfortable being around other people drinking and being able to say no. Its just been the norm for over 20 years now so it’s hard to just switch it off immediately. Best of luck with the job hunt and thanks again for replying 
Welcome. You’ll find a GREAT group here. Everyone helps me every single day whether I comment or not. 540 days sober for me.
Hi Laura! Ahh yes I have a friend who is from Ireland, and I politely told him that I will not be attending any of their family functions 
I think that’s a great idea to leave right away and take your friend, plus it’ll make you feel good you’re doing something for someone However, I’m sorry to hear you have to go to a funeral… But I love your positivity, and once you pass that first few days, few weeks, you’re going to feel so much better. Just remember to take time for you.
I’m here if you ever need to chat
Congrats!!! 
Yep unfortunately us irish tend to live up to our stereo-types 
Its been very hard today tbh … the whole way home from the airport I was wrestling with myself thinking “maybe I can go and not drink” “I feel bad for not being there” "ill just drink tonight and start tomorrow “it’s a funeral afterall” “don’t go” “why am I doing this” … my head is all over the place 
But I’ve made the right decision and I’m home now with a Chinese takeaway and a movie and I’m happy with my decision. And I know I’ll be even happier in the morning. Thanks again, the support here has been great xx
Yay Laura!! I’m so proud of you!! What movie?
Thankyou. I watched interstellar - such a great movie. What did you get up to?
Wow yeah! Thankyou!x