Hey recovery fam! I’m new here… Would love to hear some positivity or glimpse of hope!
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Welcome, @TaylorMarie! 70 days off the pills is a huge deal! That doesn’t happen by accident. Congratulations on your hard work and determination.
201 days sober from alcohol here - and this forum has been an invaluable source of support, information, and now - friendship. There are such lovely people here who just “get it.” I’m very glad you joined us!
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I’m tagging in the resident expert on benzos and booze, and awesome skills in general. @Meggers has been a huge help for myself and countless others.
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Hey guys… Thank you. Its been an interesting ride. I got sober last year for 6 months in a program, almost immediately when I got home I relapsed. My mother died and i justified my use on her death (sad & sickening)… But… Losing her made me realize how short life is. I have two children that need me… So I went and detoxed for 2 weeks… Came home and was still “in a fog”… I took a whole prescription of Xanax in the beginning and literally didn’t feel my opiate withdrawals (I was on 480mg of roxicodone a day, oxycontin & Xanax…) But I hallucinated for a week straight and it was the scariest experience ever. 10 years using, 70 days clean. But i held on, worked my program, prayed, and got a job… It hasn’t been easy but im doing it! Grateful for sure!
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Amazing progress! Praying for wisdom, strength and courage for you so that you may continue on this path 
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Hey girl, welcome! I don’t have much to say about the opiates, I was somehow super lucky and never got addicted to them (NO idea how that happened), but Xanax was a HUGE part of my story and problem. I have zero clue how I didn’t die. I was prescribed it during the day for anxiety and Klonopin at night for sleep. I tried very hard to be careful with mixing them with my massive alcohol problem. Never succeeded in that.
Benzos are so tricky because they don’t seem dangerous and they are prescribed without much care. Unless someone goes out by themselves and does research they have little to no knowledge about the insane danger. It’s only new, younger doctors that seem to take them seriously.
You’ve done your detox and you have a program, you have a solid start. Hopefully you have armed yourself with a lot of knowledge. Have you rid yourself of all you Xanax? Do your doctors know about the addiction? Recovery requires a lot of accountability and getting rid of dealers. In this case dealers means doctors that will write that script. I ditched my primary care doc because she had a fish bowl full if Skittles that said Xanax on it. Clearly, she doesn’t take it seriously. I ditched my psychiatrist for one who specializes in addiction recovery. I also got a therapist who is an addiction specialist as well. All these tools aim at keeping benzos out of reach and treating my physical and mental health around the anxiety I experiences everyday and the addictions that keep my from being able to utilize certain meds. All these things make my life so much easier to manage.
I’m glad you found us! 70 days seems like years, it’s a huge achievement. Use us for all we are worth. Whatever helps your recovery! If you have questions or need anything, feel free to reach out. You can message me directly if need be. I’m here at least once a day.
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Well, as they say… Once you’re REALLY done… Only then will you stop. I had an insane amount of prescriptions… I had acess to whatever I wanted… And I took so much I couldn’t even get high anymore. Even when I would go to the hospital (I had a dirty Dr & hospital) to get shot up when I was sick… I wouldn’t even get high… I would just feel normal. My love was for opiates but I took Xanax to top it off. The physical withdrawal of opiates is like non other… The worst ever. But even as bad as that is, the mental withdrawal of xanax is even worse. Literally I thought my brain might never come back from the toture I experienced with Xanax. I was taking 4mg of xanax at a time 4 times a day… And when I went to rehab I really went all out and took the whole prescription in 4 days. Saving me from the opiate detox. Horrible hallucinations though… I though people were out to kill me for days on end. Xanax is the worst! But yes , I know the AA book inside and out… And even tho I used pills… I believe in the big book… Its all the same principle. So God, the book, and keeping busy is keeping me sober! Of course meetings and others in recovery as well!
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Amen That’s what I’m working on to stay sober. Walking with God and trying to stay busy. I’m glad you are here. I’ll be praying for you. May God Bless you on your journey to recovery.
I couldn’t agree more about being REALLY done. The first time I got clean I wasn’t really done. I never commited to being clean for good. My goal was to stay off the benzos but I was just taking a “reset break” from the drinking. I didn’t truly want to grasp how the benzos made drinking possible. I sometimes get upset that I didn’t try to stay clean the first time. But mostly I know I wouldn’t be clean now if I didn’t go through EVERYTHING I went through before. So two terrible detoxes and two hospital (psychiatric) stays later and I’m totally, utterly done!
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To both of the previous responses, im super proud of y’all! I will be praying for a successful recovery for you guys as well! God will do amazing things… Ive seen so much change for me in the past 72 days now, that absolutely couldn’t have been done on my own. Just the fact that I detoxed for 2 weeks and came home & stayed sober is Gods work!
& i totally get the “not being ready the first time” … I wasn’t either. I was getting sober for my family instead of myself (trying to make them happy… But wasn’t SERIOUS SERIOUS about my future in recovery)… But when i relapsed and saw how quickly i went back into active addicton and hit rock bottom… Being miserable… Drooling in front of my kids… Doing nothing but sitting on my porch using … I couldn’t do it anymore. My children meant more to me … I decided I refuse to put them in the position to be taken away, me end up dead, in prison… Where i couldn’t take care of them… For ONCE I put my selfishness aside and went and got help… And now, im starting to actually love myself again… To where i can love my children. Learning yourself and being able to create a new story is absolutely amazing. Keep pushing family! We’re so much stronger than we know sometimes!
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Hey! I’ve been clean from heroin and benzos for over 9 months next week. First time ever,in 22 years! I got a lot of support in the beginning. I still do,but I’m probably more used to it now,and don’t notice it the same way… There is a lot of up’s and down’s and some struggles are harder than other’s. You’ll find support,help and awnser’s to a lot of every day issues using this app. And welcome to you;-)
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