New here but not new to trying to quit

Hi! I am new to the app, but not new to the struggles of trying to quit drinking then making myself believe that I can control it. I am ruining relationships and this weekend was a slap in the face… my hubby said he didn’t know if he wanted to stay with me. Granted we were both drinking but that was the first time I have seen exactly what my drinking and outbursts cause. I am very mean when I drink and know exactly what to say to hurt people. Most of the time I don’t remember saying those things.
I went to an online AA meeting last night and will find one today also. Thank you for your support and I look forward to finally getting sober.

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Hi @Schatzie
Welcome to the group. Well done on choosing sobriety, it’s the right and only choice, never question it - you got it spot on.
Here’s my tips list I send to anyone in their first few days, take from it anything that helps. Stay strong, good luck. We’re here if you need us.

1 Read Alcohol Explained by William Porter (you can get audio version from audible)
2 Go to as many aa meetings as you can. Listen, share if you feel OK to, engage, get phone numbers
3 Get busy. Housework, exercise, new hobby, gardening, baking, YouTube rapping, movies…anything. Don’t leave yourself any free time.
4 Be honest with yourself. Why are you stopping, how do you feel…
5 Read Alcohol Explained 2
6 stick to your decision to quit and never doubt or question it. You got it right.
7 If you do ever wobble or get tempted, ask yourself one simple question… What will it add? Will it make a good situation better? Will it make a bad situation better. My years of frequent horrid experiences have shown for me, the answer is it adds nothing and makes nothing better.
8 Stay here, keep reaching out, use your peers’ support and experience
9 help others as soon as you feel you can, even in the very early days. I’m only 13 days and honestly it’s helping me to help you. I can reread my advice to you and then reapply it to my own situation
10 Pray. Doesn’t matter if your not religious or don’t know who or what you’re praying to - I don’t, I could be praying to myself. But I’ve found over the past fortnight that getting on my knees, asking (out loud) for strength, asking for a sober day and then giving thanks for that strength and sobriety has felt extremely empowering.
EDIT: 11-14 thank you Gina Lindsey and Luis Perez Jr

11 Look for the fun in the journey!
12 Every day pay attention to what is improving. Even the little things, like being able to remember someone’s name after being introduced.
13. Make self care a priority; find the things that you can do to make yourself feel pampered and that will destress you in a healthy way.
14. Learn to identify and change your negative self talk.

Hope you find something in this that helps you. Also feel free to repost with any of your own tips. If you see I’ve missed anything that could help me, go for it.
Stay strong :blush:

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Welcome. I’m sorry that you are struggling but happy that you are here :relaxed:.

It seems like you are doing a lot to try and understand your addiction which is great.

I have tried many things but the things that have worked best for me (if I do them) are:

-SMART RECOVERY. They have some great tools to help you and especially for me to help remember why you’ve quit because after some time your brain starts telling you that you overreacted and your not an alcoholic.

  • Read books on the subject. This naked mind, recovery by Russell Brand, mentors,. You will get recommendations from this community.

  • Mindfulness and meditation- it’s the arsehole version of me that gets drunk. Not the compassionate caring version that is mindful of others and myself.

  • this app! The community on this app are fantastic. It allows daily check in with people that can relate to you in ways that often no mates or family can.

Ultimately it’s about what works for you. I wish you well God bless :pray:

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Warm welcome to the community, Amber. I’m so happy you’re here. :blush::purple_heart:

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Welcome to talking sober! I know for a fact that I wouldn’t still be sober without this amazing community. Glad you’re here!

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Hi! I’m new here too. I am in a similar boat. Alcohol is starting to affect my life and relationship. It’s making my anxiety so bad & my mood swings even worse. I feel depressed & unfulfilled. I’m right here with you!

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Welcome, glad you are here. It works if you work it! :grinning:

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Welcome Amber.
Have a good read around. Join in when your comfortable. Great support here.
We all need support. I’m finally learning to ask for help when I need it. This staying sober shit is hard.
My best tool everyday is my gratitude practice.

Like I posted today. If I stay grateful, I stay sober.
It’s a nice thread and a great bunch of people. Check it out you’re willing.

Hope to see you around.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Hi Amber and welcome,
You’ve got loads of tips already, so I’m going to ask you:
How are you doing today?

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Welcome. Hope you find being here helpful, I have. Stay strong and keep reaching out. We can and will help.

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Welcome. I hope you find something here that is helpful in your recovery.

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Things are going well. Emotions are all over the place but going in the right direction.

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Welcome, Amber. Glad you made it to a meeting. Sober community is so helpful, and the virtual options are outstanding. Good for you!

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Alcohol explained is a complete eye opener. Thank you for that suggestion!

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