New here.... John's the name

Hello everybody,

Im John from Holland. Ive been in a steady relationship for 17 years now but in the last year things have been going downhill to the point now that im fearing loosing my relationship and my soulmate… my partner in life.

Were both oldschool ravers since 1993. This new style of music emerged in Holland. Gabber is what it was called, nowadays its refered too as Hardcore. That new type of music brought with it a whole new kind of controled substances consumed in the rave scène… xtc, speed, cocaïne, acid. We were chemical brothers and sisters. And we enjoyed every second of it… before we met, continueing together after meeting untill she got health issues about two years back.

And now she basicly quit, except for the 4/6 raves we still attend a year and im still at it each weekend. This is now really tearing us apart and if i don’t make work of this right now i stand to loose the most important part of me… her.

I purchased the app, started keeping a journal as of today and enrolled in an online help quitting addiction program. 25+ years of bad habits… more then half my life since im 41 years of age. It wont be easy, so i thought id be doing good to accept all help i can wich helps me turn life around and save my world.

I hope to pick up some tips and pointers from your experiences and eventhough theres a rocky road ahead and i might fall down a few times, eventually i will be doing this!!

Welcome John, hope you’re here to stay.


Thx. :blush: I will be orientating further when im all sobered up.

And hell yeah i can do it! And im gonna do it, kicking and clawing if i have too. If i have to get to a certain point i will get there. And i don’t care about the mess behind me… wat has to be done has to be done. :grin:

Hey John. Welcome brother! You are in the right place and asking the right questions.

It seems you have 2 problems that are connected. My suggestion to you is first and foremost to stop going to the raves. Just stop. Because if you want your relationship to work then you will have to start doing things together again. That’s one of the main thing our girls want from us man. Our time and our attention. It’s also one of the main things we stop giving them when we get lost in our addictions.

Your second problem isn’t so easy and that’s the drugs. Can you tell us some more about that? Do you just use at the raves? Or is it all the time? Does your girl have a problem with your drug use? Do you? Do you consider yourself an addict/alcoholic?

Answers to those questions might help with the advice givin. I’m glad you’re here pal!