Hi. New here. Sober for two days now. Alcohol & cocaine. I’m scared.
What scares you?
It’s ok to be a bit apprehensive about taking this step. We have an innate fear of the unknown. This is partially why the term one day at a time is used. By facing each day, hour or moment, whatever is easiest to comprehend at the moment for you, will help to get through the fear.
As you build each day, hour or moment, you will start to feel more confident in your own ability to get stronger.
Stick around, read a lot, search old topics, read all you can on here, get to know people, it helps to know that you are not alone in this.
Hey there…so glad you found this place. Alcohol and cocaine were my DOC’s (drugs of choice) as well. I came on here after a particularly long night filled with whiskey red wine and my own bags of blow. I looked in the mirror after my third or fourth round of puking and said “how much longer are you gonna do this for? What are you DOING to yourself?” That was 770 days ago (or a little over two years). I was scared, unsure of if I could do it, and had no CONCEPT of what a sober me looked like.
This has been the single greatest decision of my life.
I came on here every.single.day. Multiple times, especially if I had cravings. I deleted every connect and anyone I could think of even connected to those connections. I wrote down a detailed account of my last use/hangover. Every gory physical mental and emotional detail. I also a list of every reason I could think of to get sober. I carried them with me EVERYWHERE and read them any time a craving hit. I started learning from people on here with more time than me. I got my hands on as much recovery literature as I could find and started pouring over it. I let myself eat anything I wanted as long as I stayed sober. I started working on loving myself and treating my body well with good foods and hydration. I started meditating. Sobriety was and is a full time commitment. This doesn’t mean I have no life. In fact, I have a life BC this is a full time commitment. It’s like in this two years, a heavy dark blanket that was draped over me slowly lifted, but by bit, until finally I could move and breathe and feel again. I can have fun again. I can love, I fee engaged, alive, tuned in.
Sorry for the ramble! I just wanted to let you know what worked for me early on in sobriety to give you some insight. This place is invaluable! So glad you’re here💛
Sobriety is a little scary in the beginning, but as the days go by it gets easier. Just think about staying sober today, dont think about tomorrow. You can only control what happens today.
I can relate, I was terrified to get sober. I did ketamine every day from morning till night for 8 months straight. I thought the drug was making me better but the reality was that it was destroying me from the inside out. Now that I am sober I realize it is staying an addict that is 1000 times more terrifying than being sober. My best advice is take it day by day. Nurture yourself. Do your best to re create a life that no longer needs you to use drugs to get through it. Good luck, hope you stick around!
Failing scares me. I’ve tried so many times before and within a few days, the excuses start rolling around in my head and soon, behavior is justified, in my mind.
I too had this issue. I never said I was getting sober because I didn’t want to feel like shit when I failed. The real problem was that I didn’t commit, I didn’t use that fear to make myself succeed. You have a secret weapon at hand here. Use it! Commit to the fact that you WON’T fail, then throw everything you have at making that possible. Decide that you are fucking done. Then BE done. That’s what worked for me anyhow. No failure so far (2 years 7+ months), and there won’t be, because failure is not an option for me.
I have to agree fear also stopped me getting and staying clean for around 7/8 years in this time I was using against my will I didn’t want to use but I didn’t know how to stop but when I decided to for like real no half measures so many doors opened up for me and my recovery welcome and you in the right place for great support 24/7
Also remember just BC we have a thought or urge doesn’t mean we have to act on it
This! No thought is going to kill us, only actions. Change the actions and the thoughts will follow.
Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle everyday with thoughts, but in this area (recovery/sobriety) I have put everything I have into making the actions the defining force.
Ohhh I like
Your addiction is comfortable, sobriety uncomfortable. You will get more comfortable as you replace old habits with more healthy ones. Good luck.
You are so right! The thought of a sober weekend is uncomfortable. I keep thinking, what the hell are we gonna do? We’re going to try and keep ourselves busy and occupied. My friends are all drinkers, I think for some of us, that’s they only thing we have in common. I am not afraid to lose fake friends, I will do this! I’m ready this time. Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone!