Ah man …… first of all- be super proud of yourself for getting through another day/ night. . Sorry the nose is still causing trouble and now the back pain. Drinking or drugs will not help in any way but make things worse…we have to keep reminding ourselves of this.
Idle hands is hard in early recovery. I did keep a full pact schedule even on days off to make sure I didn’t have time for the urges …are you able to plan something for each day? Maybe something simple as going for walks (weather permitting)- checking out decorations, . museums, movies…etc. spending loads of time here was also my go to…really helped me connect and feel not so alone.
Thanks for the support! Had a really positive first therapy session with a new psychologist to start helping me navigate this new path in life and then I happened to have to meet friends at a local restaurant where (surprising even to myself) I ordered a non alcoholic drink and left as quick as I came in. It’s too early to say anything but definitely felt good to feel like I am strong enough and maybe there’s a glimmer of hope.
Anyways it’s nearly 9pm now I may just crawl into bed and sleep this day away. Tomorrow is a fully packed day, actually participating in a big fundraising event which I helped organize our team. Looking forward to being distracted all day!
Love that you were able to enjoy a meet up with friends and not be tempted. I do love that glimmer of hope - it is so freeing and lovely. Just have to always keep our guards up and know not to listen to any of the lies our addiction may try to feed us when we let em down.
Fundraiser sounds awesome - have a wonderful day. A distraction is always helpful
Made it to day 4 but most importantly made it thru Friday and Saturday night which can be the hardest habit/temptation wise.
Pretty happy with the fundraiser and how that went! It’s not done yet, it’s a full weekend thing but just having some coffee now and will go back to the location of the fundraiser to finish up the event
It’s not too bad, thanks for asking. It’s healing but yesterday I spent most of my day outside and it’s quite cold here now so the cut split up a bit again, once my outdoor part of my day is done I’m going to see if I can steri-strip it closer together so finish healing so it does not scar too much. Pain wise-completely non existant though so that’s a big plus. And my dog has been such a big sucky baby these last few days, he definitely feels mega guilty,
I have realized I’m using this post as a sort of journal, I hope that’s ok. It’s nice to get interaction with what I’m writing/going thru.
I had day 2 of the fundraiser today which went incredibly well. I’m exhausted though. I did have a slight slip up but I wouldn’t consider it a relapse. I had a glass of wine with friends. Alcohol was never the biggest problem, it’s always been cocaine the issue. And usually alcohol leads to the drugs, so walking away after one glass in a big victory in a way, especially considering it was clearly around me, many people at the bar were using. But I had my glass of wine and I came back home, took the dogs for a nice winter evening walk and now I’m watching prison break in bed. The best part is I have an appointment at the garage tomorrow morning and I’m not worried about it at all. I don’t know how many times I have paid cancellation fees or had to reschedule important appointments because of my drug use…it’s important though that I don’t let this particular day of not giving into drugs make me think that I have a handle on it. Had I had another glass of wine and gotten a bit tipsy guaranteed things would have gone south real quick. The social aspect of drinking is so hard, especially losing that social connection.
More than ok …it’s helpful to you and other members as well.
Glad you had a win today. I know that I have an addictive personality. Would just caution you to be extra vigilant as the addict mind can be very tricky. Even if alcohol is not your drug of choice it dies lower our inhibitions and can make it easier to fall back into old routines.
So happy to hear that you will be resting your head sober tonight and will be making that appointment in the morning . Another victorious day in the books
Hi @JMS19 - so glad to read to read your nose is healing OK and that you managed to stick to just one drink without resorting to cocaine.
If I can be honest with you for a minute: your post does worry be a bit. I will try to explain, hope it makes sense.
Addiction and moderation rarely go hand-in-hand, most addicts will seek to do more of their DOC over time or will replace their DOC with another. I absolutely admire you being able to walk away after one drink, but what if your brain comes to the wrong conclusion and now thinks:
“I have proven that I can safely do one, surely two won’t be that much more difficult?”
You see how easy it is to set off on that sliding scale? Please be mindful of your addict brain probably wanting to bargain with you that way and stick to your guns!
Welcome to the community. Loads of love and support here. Community is a great place for great tips and to connect with fellow members who understand the struggle. Let’s do this together . One day at a time
I agree with you. Above all I can’t sit here and think " oh last time it was fine so Everytime it’ll be fine" I am lucky that this time I had the willpower to walk away and I am happy about that but let’s not push my luck! Awake this morning bright and early, not hungover, feels good!
If would suggest a change in lifestyle and avoid putting yourself in an “user” environment…it’s just setting yourself up for failure…just a suggestion.
. Sorry the nose is still causing trouble and now the back pain. Drinking or drugs will not help in any way but make things worse…we have to keep reminding ourselves of this.
How’s your nose doing??
