I’ve been drinking for the past 13 years and it’s not always been a problem. I go through dark periods where I black out and act irrationally every time I drink. It seems like an impossibility to just “have a drink or two”. I lost my last job due to drinking and now fear for my current job. Last weekend I went to my bosses daughter’s sweet 16 and of course had to black out and act a fool. I blacked out and did not behave properly in front of my boss (a surgeon), his daughter, family, manager, coworkers, people we work closely with, people I’ve only dealt with over the phone (what a great first impression), other doctors that attended, and God knows who else. For the past few months I’ve been starting fights, hit my cousin, punched my brother in the face (he bled), hit friends, hit my boyfriend, started fights at my best friend’s birthday party, hit my boyfriend in front of his sister (caused major problems), repeated things my best friends told me in privacy, and cry hysterically in front of people (I never used to cry in front of people…this is so embarrassing for me). Today I told my boyfriend I was going to quit drinking (again) and just 30 minutes ago he kept offering me beer. Alcohol constantly surrounds me, I have no self control, I’m digging myself in a hole, and I feel that I have no help or support. What can I do??
Hi Ozzysox,
Because your name is ozzy can I assume you live in the land down under?
I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through, did you read my other comment about starting with a doctor and being open and honest with them?, so that way alot of the things you want to solve can start falling into place and don’t be afraid to seek help from numerous people sometimes you need a net of people to fall on.
Alot of people on this forum are extremely lovely with alot of knowledge, articles and advice. Hope we can help you, we are all always here to listen x
Ozzy is actually the name of my cat lol my name is Natalie.
I couldn’t possibly bring myself to speak with a doctor or go to AA at this point. I was hoping this site could help me before I had to take the next step. I appreciate you taking the time to reply to my post and I do believe the people on here could help 
@OzzySox your story is all too familiar.
The good news is that you control your future. You decide if you will be drinking in your future or if you will be making positive decisions and healthy choices. Some people are not allowed to drink responsibly and we are amoung them.
I am a proponent of medical assistance, others will swear by yoga or AA. Basically there are about as many paths towards sobriety as there are options for drinks at the bar, all are equal in some respects, find a path and try it, don’t take a setback as failure just knowlede of what works for you.
Good luck.
@OzzySox I feel ya. The whole crying thing and anger - this is my domain. I stayed sober this weekend and was amazed by some of the embarrassing things my family said (they all drink heavily).
I don’t like myself when I drink. I become angry at the world, say things I regret in the wee hours of the morning and have cried uncontrollably at parties, weddings, you name it. I’m working on becoming someone that doesn’t lie awake at night wondering what the hell I did this time. I hate that feeling.
Great job not drinking this weekend. I did it too! It was occasionally akward and I ate a ton of snacks, but I felt great the mornings after. About five days in without drinking but I am just happy to hear there are people like me who couldn’t brag about who we are sometimes when we drink and care to change.
Hi @OzzySox. Welcome. Firstly you will find many many lovely people on here to offer advice or just listen. Sobriety is not easy but it is achievable. I guess you have to figure out if you really like your life the way it is. I drank for 14 years never happy but without the conviction to actually quit. I think if you do decide to stop you will soon see you gain a lot. Control… self respect. Money etc. You can’t undo the past so no point thinking about that. We’ve all said and done things we regret. You can however shape your future. Imagine being free in a years time to live the one life you’ve got on your terms?? Be strong and feel free to chat here as it’s an absolute god send this site
Hi @OzzySox,
I’m new here too. So I haven’t got a lot to suggest - other than try anything! I’m going it alone without the doctor at this point. My plan is to check in here daily. Spend more time fulfilling my commitments to my job, son, family and health.
Literally 3 days in. Grumpy, headaches, poor sleep, too much caffeine soda - but happy and feeling a teeny tiny weeny bit empowered 
Hang in there!
Dear @OzzySox
My life was the same way, my husband hated my drinking and when I would tell him that this is it no more, a few days later he would ask me to go for a few pints. My life was and still is surrounded with alcohol but what I learned and still am learning is that now I control my life and my addictions, I have been vigilant on what I do and where I go, if there is alcohol I say NO Way! Not going to happen.
There is an awakening when you sober up, you know who loves and cares for you. The people who stand behind you and with you helping and defending your convictions, are the keepers. The ones who don’t listen and are close too you and you can’t remove from your life ( I am talking about family and significant others) you have to make them see you conviction of sobriety. I am saying be your own hero.
Picture yourself as a child and someone is hurting you… What would you do? Watch! Or intervene and protect that small child.
That’s what I do… It’s time to protect that wounded child and heal… Cuz alcoholism and drug addiction is a dis-ease… We’re hiding from the world.
I also had a therapist ask me to reflect on: close your eyes and picture your 90 year old self right now, what are they saying to you? , what kind of life do they see you living? That was and still is an eye opener for me.
We all can heal… Overcoming Addiction makes us stronger and great people, we walked the dark path… So the light is even brighter when we turn back to are authentic selves…
For myself I say fake it till you make it… You can do this… And my heart is with you. 
@OzzySox, so you posted this 14 hours ago. How are you feeling about things now? Just checking in.
I’m quite upset to hear that your boyfriend is offering you beer even though you told him you were quitting. Do you think he doesn’t believe you can quit? Doesn’t think you have a real problem? Doesn’t want you to succeed? Maybe he’s testing you. No matter what that doesn’t sound like a caring and supportive person. I certainly don’t want to say “you should leave him” because I have no clue what your relationship is. Relationships are complicated. I do think that you may need to tell him in no uncertain terms that you want to quit and you need him to support you 110%.
I too am wondering how you are doing today. Please check in.
That feeling is a killer. I too hate not being able to look at friends or wonder if they’re mad at me for something I did while drunk. That is what’s going to keep me sober.
I drank this weekend, but not too much. It was my boyfriend birthday. I did everything in my power to limit myself. I was so worried I would over drink, fight with him and ruin his birthday. I am very worried about Christmas and New Years. I am having friends over for New Years and not sure if I’ll be able to pass on alcohol.
Self respect is what I need right now. I am so embarrassed of myself and wonder what people truly think of me. I do feel that I can turn to this site when feeling weak.
I understand, I would suggest getting some beverages that look like they could be alcoholic and just drink those, like coke instead of rum and coke, de-alcoholised beer or wine. That way no one will offer you a drink or make any comments. You can do this!
Happy to hear you’re still hanging in there! I will also be having coffee today! Thank you for the response
look sweet Natalie … you have suffered as much as we all did … im in day 5 off heroin now and i never thought i would make it this far … not far enough though but i live day by day choosing to be sober … its up to your choice now … either u can change everything or stay in such a lifestyle you hate … im positive you will choose right
My brother offered me alcohol yesterday, I told him I quit drinking (I’ve said that so many times before) later in the day he asked me and my boyfriend if we wanted him to bring us alcohol tomorrow, my boyfriend told him I quit drinking (I told him yesterday and he heard me tell my brother earlier) so I think he’s going to take it a bit more serious the more he hears me refuse alcohol. Same for my brother. Thank you so much
I do feel like alcohol is destroying my body. I’m always sick and unable to eat. I went from 120-122 pounds to 109. These past few months have been bad…I would drink instead of eat and then be too sick to eat. I’ve been feeling weak, light headed and sometimes feel like I’m going to faint. I think your homemade calendar is awesome! I’d like to make a list of fun things to do sober…I just don’t know what’s fun anymore.
Still going strong! I’m just concerned about the holidays…mainly the New Years party I’ve already planned at my house.