True. Yeah, that’s true. It just hit me, you know? Like even if you’re not one to contemplate hypotheticals, you might still now and then realise that depression is a long time thing and you can manage it, but you can’t/ it’s really rare to get rid of it altogether.
But I do understand and appreciate what you’re saying. I’m definitely working on living in the moment.
Haha I have had the exact same thought, so I get you!
But remembering that the only thing that’s pretty much guaranteed is change helps me to come out of that particular rabbit hole sometimes 
Lol yeah.
Huh. Yeah. That’s true. I tend to worry about the other shoe dropping, so I’m trying to let go of that lol.
I think I was lonely. When I don’t talk to people an entire day, it gets like that. I wish I had a bit more of a steady routine.
How are you doing today??? 
True, lol. I feel that too, cause I’m not in school rn.
I’m overall ok. Struggling with food. Today was the first day I truly realized for the first time that it’s really bad how much I eat. Like constantly. And idk. I just realized how bad it is. And idk. Yeah. Struggling with that rn.
I’m sorry. My dad was bipolar and my mom was in charge of making sure none of us complained about it. It was intensely horrible. Hang in there. I think getting sober is a way out.
I’m with you. I’ve been in therapy and on meds for years. I know it’s better than drinking. Those are really my only two options. Having a loving family and a healthy childhood was not the hand I was dealt. I’m angry about it, but as my shrink has said to me, all we can do is go from here.
I’m pretty new to this app/forum and just want to say thanks to everyone here. Appreciate being able to chat with people in the same boat.
That’s true. Yeah. That’s all true.
Welcome! Yeah, talking with others who get it is really helpful.
I hate that I’m eating so much. It’s disgusting. And I really hate myself for it. And it’s awful. And idk. So I’m literally crying over the fact that I eat too much.
Hey, it’s OK. You have plenty of time to figure it all out. What does your typical day of food look like?
Yeah, true.
Tbh, it’s really bad. I wake up around 8 or 9 and have breakfast like by 11. Usually that’s fairly healthy. Then lunch goes off the rails a bit. And I snack a ton on cookies, nuts, fruit, etc. And then dinner is usually a family meal where I’ll have like 2 portions. Then I have dessert, which usually ends up being huge cause it’s like the entire time between 8pm and 11 pm and I just kinda eat a ton. And idk. It feels really out of control. So yeah.
What kind of food are you having for breakfast, lunch and dinner? How much water are you drinking?
I drink about three/ four bottles of water each day.
Breakfast is normally like a sandwich, some fruit, maybe an egg. Just depends. Lunch is usually a sandwich, a salad, whatevers leftover from dinner, stuff like that. Dinner is whatever my mom makes. Usually has some meat, a bit if hearty veggies like beans or something and a side salad.
My issue is all the snacking. I keep eating from boredom or to feel better or idk why. And the snacks are chocolate, ice cream, juice, pretzels, cookies, etc.
Really bad depressive episode. Want to punch myself. Crying. Shaking.
Ok. Worked out really fast and hard. Calmer now.
Good to hear you’re feeling a bit better.
Re the food, the meals sound good. And you’re drinking plenty of water too.
I am not doing great in my eating patterns right now but I am working on it. For now, my plan is to focus on the things I want to eat, rather than cutting anything out. So each day I try to eat 3 portions of fruit and 7 veg. When I do that, it means there is a lot less space for unhealthy snacks and that kind of reduces naturally. I am also working on drinking more water… Can I drink a glass instead of having a snack? Does that help? Or can I sit and do some breathing exercises, go for a walk… Etc. Some days it works. Some days it doesn’t. Each day is a new day, just because I eat badly one day it doesn’t mean I have to every day. That’s my experience anyway, for what it’s worth.
Yeah. I couldn’t find my resource cards with my list of coping skills.
Yeah. They’re pretty alright overall.
Hmm. Makes sense. 7 veg? Wow! Hmm. Yeah. I want to try those things. I think for me it’s become a loss if control like I cant in the moment think straight at all. But yeah. I’m gonna try those things.
I don’t manage it every day. And that’s ok. It’s about having a healthy goal to aim for. It means even if I don’t make it halfway, I’ve still had some nutrients in me, which is better than just pizza and ice cream 
Yeah, true. I need my goals way more reachable because if I don’t reach them, I get really depressed and it messes with me. But yeah.
Tonight was really hard. And idk if I need higher dose or if I need inpatient or what. Idk. I’m gonna see how the next few days go.
Feeling kinda poopy today. Back hurts, and just feeling down. That’s how depression goes. And idk. Been thinking about self harm and thinking of going back to hospital or idk. Just idk.