I didn’t even notice how deep I was. After listing what drugs I used for the intake lady at outpatient yesterday, even I was in shock. I got so good at my double life I even had myself fooled. Now I’m only 16hrs in and it feels like a decade. I spent over 5 hours just staring at my computer at work today. My brain feels like it stopped working. I’m paralyzed. In shock I think. Can’t stop crying. Who the heck am I? I’m so mad at myself for destroying my ability to feel good. My quote for today… “if you can feel it you can heal it.” I think I’m melting. I live alone and can’t pick myself up to do anything. Only thing I can seem to do is stare into space. Trying to sit with it. Loneliness is my kryptonite. I really just need a hug.
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One day at a time. One second at a time. One minute at a time. It doesn’t happen over night your body needs time to recover. I’ve been sober for years before and unfortunately relapsed and now am back to 10 days sober. The brain fog clears up within a few weeks and a huge thing is exercise for the brain. You’re not alone. It sucks but your time will come and you’ll look back and say “hey I remember feeling like shit” and never want to return again.
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Thank you! Just by posting I made it another 15 minutes. Probably wouldn’t have. @Johnny23 > one minute at a time
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“if you can feel it you can heal it.” I LOVE THAT! WOW! This was so encouraging to me as Im only about 16 hours in too! If only I had those words penned on my heart days ago. Thank you, they are now tattooed there. (hugs)
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It sucked and it still sucks but I made it over a day! Later tonight I’ll be 2! Hang in there.
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Belive in your self @Kat2 you are only a human. Dont beat your self up .instead try to think what and how you can do to put yourself into a good place. You ever tried atend AA or NA . you are not alone . You are Worth a good life. Be kind to your self
I was 75 days sober and screwd up! I am so disappointed in myself. Also I feel like crap. Addiction is real and it makes me sad. I was to cry all the time. So I start my clock over. One day at a time.
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Relaps is not a failure guys , i do mean that , whats counts is you keep on trying to stay sober . Beat your thinking flip the mind and belive you can do this .your life depends on it . And you deserve the good things in life and to be free of the alcohol. As free as you can be 
love life again and i belive you guys can do this !!