New to sobriety, new coping mechanisms?

I’m new to being sober and here recently it seems like life has come crashing down, all within the last 3 weeks, my depression and anxiety medication have completely stopped working, my girlfriend came home and told me she was leaving, and I’ve taken FMLA to sort through emotions that have been buried under the last 5 years of drinking. I’m going stir crazy sitting at home as I’m an introvert when sober, all of my friends just want to go to bars and I know it’s something I cant do. So if anyone with a little more sobriety under their belt give me some ideas for coping mechanisms I would so greatly appreciate it. It seems all I do is sit at home alone with my thoughts anymore and I know that needs to change as well.

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@Tom3AM Aloha from Hawaii. I’ve attempted sobriety many times, but this time is different. I am sober 13 days now and I can tell you some strategies I’ve learned the hard way.

You are an introvert - so get out of your house, grab a book and read some place in public. You can’t sit and wander in the field of your head alone without supervision. It’s like a child playing by the side of the road - they are going to get hit eventually. Us alcoholics will drink. You can be an introvert in public. You don’t have to engage anyone.

What are your interests? You said you go to bars - do you like pool? Find a legit pool hall (they usually don’t serve liquor.)

Pursue an interest or start journaling. Anything… Clean your house - do stupid shit like cleaning the window sills or start fixing the stuff you’ve been wanting to, but put off because you were drunk.

And see a doctor - get some meds. You are sick and there is no shame in that.

Stay strong and I’ll be rooting for you!

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Hi - welcome!

I’d recommend taking up a new hobby or interest, or returning to an old one from before drinking took up your time. Find an interest that you can pursue with the same ferocity and vigor with which you used to pursue drinking. For me, it was fitness and nutrition, but it can be anything! You’ll probably need to try different stuff to find “your thing”, but thats part of the fun.

I do know that sitting home just trying to will yourself into long-term sobriety can be a flimsy plan. Been there, done that. Idle hands, you know?

Best of luck to you. Keep checking in here and reading.

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I’m new to sobriety too but have quit in the past and can share some things that have helped me stay motivated. I’m also pretty well versed at being an introvert :wink:
I think the key is to find ways to continue to enjoy life without booze. I focus on my passions. If you don’t feel like you have any (totally normal), get out there and start looking. Look for a teeny tiny spark of interest or curiosity and nurture it…with time it may grow into a true passion you can really own and make yours. Try some new things. I took up boxing, which I adored from the first time I tried it (though it took me months to build up the courage)…it taught me how to be strong in the face of adversity, how to think on my feet, and that my mind and body ( though overweight) could do way more than I ever thought it could. Also, when I’m feeling at my lowest my dog and being in nature give me peace. So I grab the leash and drive/walk somewhere beautiful. I read a book or meditate or journal or toss the ball for her. I breathe deeply (it helps). Sometimes I go kayaking. Bekng on the water gives me joy, but that’s not everyone’s thing.
There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. If you’d like to be more social or get your mind off things, I recommend starting small and seeking out events where you know there won’t be too many people but where you can kind of blend in…even seeing a movie or live theatre alone. Build up to more social things. It gets better. Being social is like a muscle, you do have to work it to be able to flex it effectively. It takes time, be patient and kind to yourself. :blush:
I cannot recommend counselling enough if there are things you need to work through. Even online counselling. You may find good support through SMART recovery meetings as well. Check in here regularly…people here genuinely care.

Hi! Welcome :slight_smile:

I’m only 2.5 months in, something that really helped me get through the first couple of months was having something else to focus on. I’d already set myself a target of completing a 34 mile walk to achieve before my 30th birthday. That happened to fall on my 2 months sober date, unplanned but a happy coincidence. I did long training walks every Sunday, it made me feel good about getting early nights, focused me on living healthily and also gave me good opportunities for self reflection.

I also do yoga and meditation, which I started before stopping drinking, they really helped me 1. Come to the decision to stop drinking and 2. Deal with some of my feelings when I stopped.

It’s all about shifting focus I guess, which is what the other guys here have said too, just sharing my experience of what I focused on. Sounds like you’ve got a lot going on, hope you find the things that works for you and gives you something to look forward to!

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