Welcome to Talking Sober. This is a wonderful community where like-minded people come together and support each other.
The relationship you described with alcohol is exactly the same as what many of us have experienced here. We are addicted to alcohol. It is a disease, and our relationship with alcohol is different from that of normal drinkers. That’s why we cannot control our drinking. Many of us tried to drink in moderation, but once we take the first drink, we lose control because our brains have become dependent on alcohol.
The only thing you need to do is stay away from that first drink. Keep it simple—you don’t need to think about never drinking again for the rest of your life. Just focus on one day at a time. Tell yourself: “I will not drink today.”
The early days can be difficult, but life gets much better as you build more sober days. Take your time, read through the posts here, and don’t hesitate to ask questions.
This thread helps 
I wish you a wonderful sober life ahead.