# New to this site-question
**URL:** https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128
**Category:** Your Story
**Tags:** alcohol
**Created:** [February 20, 2024, 8:03pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128 "2024-02-20T20:03:19Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@harley1903](https://talkingsober.com/u/harley1903)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:03pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/1 "2024-02-20T20:03:20Z")
I am a 56 year old male. I am trying to figure out if I am an alcoholic. I travel once a month for work, so I am away from home for a week or so every month. While I am away, it tend to drink a lot. Usually pass out drunk. I don’t do that at home for the most part, but once in a while I will overdo it. But when I am on my own, I can’t seem to not drink. I have a family history of drinking, so I kind of feel like it’s in the genes. What I am trying to figure out is if I need to find an AA group where I travel to and maybe that would keep me off the booze.
Any thoughts, or someone in a similar situation?
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### Author:  [@RosaCanDo](https://talkingsober.com/u/RosaCanDo)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:13pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/2 "2024-02-20T20:13:35Z")
Finding support for your trips is a great idea! You can also do virtual AA or other recovery support groups online (there are several options out there) and you can get active here and check in when you need some support any time at all.
It sounds like you feel like your alcohol use is problematic at times and you want to make a change. That’s really the bottom line in my opinion, whether you chose the label of Alcoholic or not. For some that can be freeing and for others it can feel limiting. That’s your choice.
I’m glad you came here for some support and wish you well on your efforts.
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### Author:  [@RosaCanDo](https://talkingsober.com/u/RosaCanDo)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:14pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/3 "2024-02-20T20:14:38Z")
Maybe try checking in on this thread when you need a lifeline?
[Checking in daily](https://talkingsober.com/t/checking-in-daily-to-maintain-focus-63/178494)
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### Author:  [@Pattycake](https://talkingsober.com/u/Pattycake)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:21pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/4 "2024-02-20T20:21:38Z")
Hi, @harley1903 , welcome! Maybe you don’t have to figure out if you’re an alcoholic. Maybe it’s enough to know you want to stop drinking . So you figure out what tools you need to do that. Sounds so simple, but if it weren’t so addictive, none of us would have any trouble just quitting!!
For me, getting to really know the nature of this addiction helped me change my mindset. Lots of good quit literature out there. Also having the support of a community like TS has been critical for me. Have a read around, visit often. ❤👍🏼
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### Author:  [@harley1903](https://talkingsober.com/u/harley1903)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:29pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/5 "2024-02-20T20:29:05Z")
You are correct, it sounds so simple. When I am home I am a different person, I rarely feel the need to drink. If I am on my own it’s a completely different story. I do need to figure out what tools I need.
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### Author:  [@harley1903](https://talkingsober.com/u/harley1903)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:30pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/6 "2024-02-20T20:30:47Z")
Thank you, it means a lot. There is no one I can go to in person, finding some like minded people online is a bit of a lifeline.
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### Author:  [@erntedank](https://talkingsober.com/u/erntedank)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:36pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/7 "2024-02-20T20:36:16Z")
Maybe step back and ask yourself what you are covering with drinking when you are alone. HALT is a tool to identify real needs behind the cravings and adress them properly.
Welcome to the forum 🌻
> [@H.ungry A.ngry L.onely T.ired](https://talkingsober.com/t/h-ungry-a-ngry-l-onely-t-ired/130839):
>
> For those who don’t know halt is an acronymn for Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. The idea is to use this acronym as a tool to recognize what is troubling you and likely causing you to relapse or putting yourself at risk of one. If you have one or many of these symptoms left untreated for too long you likely won’t be feeling very happy or healthy. For myself this was a tool I used heavily earlier in my recovery and worked quite hard at ridding myself of the anger part. Lately as I close in on 700 day…
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### Author:  [@Chevy55](https://talkingsober.com/u/Chevy55)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 8:37pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/8 "2024-02-20T20:37:47Z")
Hey Harley.
Like you, 56, though I retired a couple years ago. I also travelled a lot for work and the majority of my drinking was on the road, boredom at hotels etc.
When I retired it became a 2 nights per week sometimes 3, to drink till I’m passed out in my chair. Never thought of myself as an alcoholic, but in hindsight I am.
I’ve been clear 46 days now, so while not experienced enough to speak about in depth, I do.know I feel much better about everything right now. Waking up for the most part feeling good, getting my health in order, exercising more consistently.
This page has been a massive help, if for anything the camaraderie, not judgemental and great responses from many people that care. The reading is fantastic as well so when I get some bored moments whereas there may be a chance of relapse, I read through the posts. Lots of wisdom here.
Hopefully we see you around some more, and know I will be pulling for you.
All the best
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### Author:  [@harley1903](https://talkingsober.com/u/harley1903)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 9:20pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/9 "2024-02-20T21:20:31Z")
Thanks for the reply, I really need the support. I can’t talk about this with my wife. We are super close but this is not a topic I can bring up. I suspect she knows that I overdo it now and then, but I don’t know that she realizes that it goes deeper.
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### Author:  [@Chevy55](https://talkingsober.com/u/Chevy55)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 9:29pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/10 "2024-02-20T21:29:30Z")
I think you should focus on your success, and perhaps this will be a discussion with her for another time. I’m sure she would be supportive of you regardless, but you decide the when’s and how’s my friend.
I do think sobriety includes 100% honesty with yourself, and facing things head on. Apologies when warranted and frank discussion when needed. But again, you need to be comfortable and ready to take those aspects on.
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### Author:  [@Tragicfarinelli](https://talkingsober.com/u/Tragicfarinelli)
#### Post date: [February 20, 2024, 10:00pm UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/11 "2024-02-20T22:00:03Z")
Welcome to this group of like minded people, you will find a lot of help here. Stick around ❣
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### Author:  [@J\_Lo\_Ste](https://talkingsober.com/u/J_Lo_Ste)
#### Post date: [February 21, 2024, 6:10am UTC](https://talkingsober.com/t/new-to-this-site-question/179128/12 "2024-02-21T06:10:01Z")
.
Reading these things
.
Help me with my sobriety.
Going on 22 years