Newbie-need reassurance and help. I’m so discouraged

I’m making a change. For my physical and mental health. I think the pandemic took some tendencies I had towards drinking a leeeeetle too much and turned them into a problem. I have stomach problems and can’t lose weight and sometimes have a tremor. I only drink in evenings but I’ve found myself slowly drinking more and more. My husband is disapproving and I want to be free of this need for a drink. Or three. Pls help me keep focus and leave the alcohol in the cupboard! I feel like such a failure.


Hey there…you’re not failure at all…more of a success really. You’ve successfully realized that your life would be better if you stopped drinking. I realized the same thing about four years ago. There was a lot of shame, regret, frustration that came along with those first moments…but I chose instead to focus on how proud of myself I was. I realized I was in a place that I didn’t want to be…and I decided to change that. There’s not much you could be MORE proud of yourself for. For me, it was really important to throw myself into sobriety full bore., wrote a list of every reason I could think of to get sober, wrote my last hangover down in the most brutally honest detail I could. I read both of these any time I even thought of drinking. Threw myself into books and audiobooks on recovery. I read on here constantly…there is a lot of great wisdom here from people who have been sober a lot longer than me! There are no shortage of meetings of all kinds to check out (AA, SMART recovery, refuge recovery, women in sobriety, etc) that can help you on your way. Doctors and mental health professionals are also there for you! I have found nothing but support from my doctors in my journey. Bottom line…I’m proud of you for showing up today. And now…onward.:heart:


Welcome @HL12 ! You’re in the right place. This community has helped me to be over 800 days sober now. The fact that you’re here and seeking support means you have so much strength and courage and you’re going to do this! Now it’s time to keep your focus and determination, you’ll need these as you travel this journey. Read as much as you can on here, share and ask for help or advice as much as you need to, it helps! Take this one day at a time, don’t get caught up worrying about the future. Just stay sober today and then focus on tomorrow tomorrow! If you think you might like to have a drink, play the tape ALL the way through! Think about why you decided to stop drinking. Think about all the positives that sobriety brings - there are honestly SO many :blush: believe in yourself, and always act from a place of love and self-care and respect. You deserve happiness. You deserve to feel good. You are a wonderful human being. I’m so glad you’re here. I wish you all the very best. You got this!


Welcome and congrats on making the decision to stop putting poison into your body. This forum has helped me tremendously and I’m sure you’ll have the same experience if you use it to its fullest potential. Read, read and read some more and always reach out before you pick up. Looking forward to walking this journey with you.


Welcome! I’m glad you are here. It’s a HUGE step to recognize our drinking habits and to ask for help. You are in a good place.

I see that you said you drink in the evenings. What will you do tonight when you would normally reach for a drink? Our habitual tendencies and physical addiction to alcohol when we are just quitting can have such a stronghold on us. Having a plan or alternative ready to go when we would normally drink can be really helpful. There are so many options, and I’m sure everyone here can chime in, but some ideas to throw out there – going for a walk, exercising, journaling, taking a shower or bath, drawing (doesn’t matter if it’s “good” or not – just getting creative), picking up an old hobby that fell by the wayside, learning a new hobby, going to a meeting, cooking an elaborate meal that takes your full attention, calling a friend…and on an on, as long as it’s not drinking.

You are making a huge step in your life right now. Even though you might feel like a failure, I can assure you that you are not. Every time I see another person be brave enough to acknowledge the issues around their drinking, make the decision to change, or reach out for help, it is inspiring to me on own path of sobriety. So in my mind, today you are not a failure – you are an inspiration.

Most importantly, I hope that you can be kind to yourself during this time. Let yourself feel, cry, laugh, reflect, rest. Hold yourself with kindness the same you might hold a loved one if they were going through a big change. There are ups and downs for all of us, but it is so awesome that you are here.


I love this!!! It’s positive, it shows strength, you’ve given yourself a mission. That one little statement proves you are NOT a failure. And you’re not alone… each of us here had that same beginning with something having to change. Warm welcome to the community! I’m so happy you’re here. :purple_heart::slightly_smiling_face:

P.S. If at all possible, don’t leave the alcohol in the cupboard. Get rid of it. That’s a temptation you don’t need around.

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I had somewhat of a hangover so it was easy so far to keep telling myself that I don’t want to feel that way tomorrow. It’s not evening yet so will just keep powering through!

Thank you! Appreciate the kind words!

I’m not sure what I’ll do differently…probably fill up my tumbler with ice and some herbal tea, so that I still have a drink!
And thank you for the kind words. This makes me feel so empowered to make this change!

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