I think I haven’t really come to terms with never drinking again, and I’m afraid if someone sees me it makes it more permanent. A lot of people in my life think I am still capable drinking socially. I’m afraid of losing that illusion. Totally my disease talking, huh?
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You don’t need to come to terms with it. But you CAN come to terms with not drinking TODAY - then by some miracle, those todays add up for some folks. And AA is a great place for that mentality. Best wishes.
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The biggest problem in AA is it has no professional medical or psychiatric oversite.
It’s an asylum run by the inmates.
Where the inmates are stable, AA flourishes and provides help. Where they are not, cancer grows.
I too was approached by someone at my first meeting - someone with 6 months only - who TOLD me he was now my sponsor. I was 23 and green. What did I know? I just left a meeting in which FIND A SPONSOR must have been reiterated 20 times…
In a week, he said he could not truly be my sponsor, but his sponsor would be my sponsor now. Within another week, that sponsor tried to coerce me into bed.
So, you have to take your time, keep what’s left of your wits about you, and LISTEN.
I have been to many aa meetings and never felt overly uncomfortable. I do reccomend going to a women’s group if you can, because there will then be about zero chance of “13 steppers”. It feels a little easier to share at those meetings to me too.
I bring my baby to every meeting and although I’ve felt vulnerable, I have only been approached with acceptance and honest kindness. It helped that I met a few women I can sit with as well.
We must come out of our comfort zone in order to grow! And dont worry, everyone has told me they were terrified when they started going to meetings. It’s normal and expected. Dont give up!
Oh yes! Some people are perfectly happy going to meetings. I just think for the people who dont get anything out of it, they are usually just showing up to one or two and simply stop.
I found that the people who get a sponsor and work on the steps in addition to going to meetings find more success and longer term sobriety. I have never met someone who has done those things and said they dont work…
Do whatever works for you. The bottom line is that aa is mainly about alcoholics sharing with each other and I think that is the most important part of it.
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