Got so drunk at my work Christmas party last night and blacked out. My mother had to bring me home. I woke up to see that I had called and texted a co worker multiple times and I don’t remember any of it. My anxiety is through the roof and I haven’t eaten properly in several days. I’m 26 years old but I’m acting like a teenager. Here to try this again! Tips and kind words appreciated. I’m having a hard time being gentle with myself today.
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I totally understand, I’m always really hard on myself to when It comes to relapsing. I’ve only been on here a couple weeks & had to reset that clock a few times. But you can do it! We’re all here for support
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Sorry to hear you’re having a hard time. Are you working a program of some sort or just trying to white knuckle through it? I ask because white knuckling it never worked for me and having some people to call on before I fell to pieces is good in my experience. Are you going to some kind of meetings? Don’t beat yourself up. Just start again.
Sending Love and A Bright Light your way. Trust me I went through many years of blackouts and feeling Super Guilty, about not remembering moments in time. Just know, NOW, is the time to make that change. Dont go back to your old ways. The future is Bright and Clear. Trust me. Just keep the booze out of your mouth.
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I’m not but I’m thinking about it. Thinking about AA but unsure.
Please be kind to yourself. Its ok if you have texted. You can say sorry but i was drunk. Everyone can get drunk and do such things. I was a texter too. No matter. We are all humans. Try to get calm and look forward.
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Try a meeting and see what you think. Actually, try several different ones to see if there is one with a vibe you like. Sounds weird but I have found several that work for me and it took a little trial and error. Hang in there. You can do this.
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Hi there, Jacqueline! Welcome. I´m also a newcomer.
Is it possible that the anxiety you feel is connected with the impression you want to cause to your coworkers? For me it´s not a negative thing to be recognized by your peers, but don´t let it possess your thoughts if that´s the case!
Casually something similar happened a few days ago to a girl from a department of my company and we all were worried rather than judgmental when she also blacked out after a “several-bar-route-before-xmas-party”.
Maybe you made all those calls because you didn´t know where the people were (we can all get a bit compulsive when drunk, hehe)?
You seem really worried about this. My experience says that sometimes the things we believe are not as hard or complicated as they seem to us in our internal forum.
Why dont you try to recall what happened with someone you trust in the company?
And it´s perfectly normal to blackout in a society where alcohol is perfectly legal and well considered even though is an advertised poison if it´s not consumed properly.
Hugs from Spain 
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I agree. Took me a while to find the meetings that worked for me so make sure you give it a chance.
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Are there other options asides from AA? I’m not so into the religious undertones.
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You will not have religion pushed in you in AA. This is a common misconception.
Definitely a misconception about aa. Chapter 4 of the big book is specifically about how the higher power thing works and it’s titled We Agnostics so there is much room to define what that means to the individual. It’s not religious.
Thanks! Another question. I take cepralex and have noticed my tolerance has been WAY off. I’m blacking out more than ever before. According to google other people on this medication experience this as well. Feel relieved to know it’s not ALL my substance issues. Anyone have experience or knowledge of this?
I’m not much older than you. My friends my age for the most part don’t drink like I do. I keep going and going. One too many nights like you describe caused me to quit. Life gets better when you can have fun without putting poison in your body.
I’m only 6 days sober and finding great inspiration online. It helped to google “reasons to quit drinking” and they really resonated with me. Journaling about my own struggles is also helping. Stay strong / you are not alone. You are also worth it.
SMART Meetings are an alternative to AA.
The meetings teach you coping skills without having to
talk about your personal life in too much detail and there’s no talk of a higher power. AA seems to work for many but if you are not in to it, SMART is the next best thing.
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I’m a huge AA believer. But I will share the other programs I know of. AA, NA, CA, SMART and Women for Sobriety. But I’m with the others being religious is not a requirement for AA. Some people in the room will be religious and they will share from their own experiences but it’s not them pushing it. We really can only share what we have been through or experience. Best wishes.