Quick warning for mentions of death and overdoses and booze.
I keep getting nightmares. That morning when J passed just keeps playing in my sleep. Vodka used to be great to make nightmares stop but not anymore I guess. I don’t know what to do. My brain just keeps replaying “she’s dead and its my fault” and I keep seeing her body as it was when she passed and i know it wasn’t actually my fault but it sure feels like it and fuck i want to drink but all the booze is upstairs and my room is downstairs so I’m not letting myself go upstairs anymore tonight. I’m so glad my therapy session is tomorrow I really need it. Ugh its been a week.
that is really sad to read having to go through this. I do not know the story so I am not realy in any place to give advice but do not drink firstly and maybe get rid of the alcohol if possible? having to deal with such intense memories, drinking makes the anxiety only sky high after the first false sense of ease.
I wish you a good and safe therapist and a safe place to proces. And the dreams are terrible, but look at it as it being your own inner guiding intelilgence processing.
blessings
I have a reoccurring nightmare of some stuff that happened when I was in the service. They dont happen as often anymore. Sobriety, seeking help, and communicating about it has really helped.
Here is the good news. Stay sober, seek help and the power of those nightmares is greatly diminished. They will either go away, or at a minimum hold no power over you.
Dreams are a response from your brain. They play, sometimes incorrectly, or in really weird story telling ways…what has been occupying you mind while you are awake.
