Soooo… hello everyone. I’m on day 9. My positive attitude has somewhat diminished. No, I am not throwing in the towel but life seems to be extra hard right now between deaths and cancer with my aunt. Then tonight was meant to be my night away from life with my best girlfriend. I arrive at her house to see her ex’s car outside. Completely ruined me. He broke her face, I’ve been in a similar situation and I know it took me a lot of wasted years, but the fact that I’m where I am now, it’s hard for me to understand why. I worry about so many people when I feel like at this fragile moment in my life, I need to be really selfish. My head is spinning with everyone elses stuff! I’m thankful I have such a supportive family and boyfriend. (For those who know me, we have thus far figured things out.) I feel like I should be happier. I don’t know. Today I wasn’t feeling well but I think it has to do with my lack of sleep and energy. I will keep running to gain energy. I will keep eating to gain energy and I will keep pushing to have a happier and sober life.
Cherish each day with your Aunt & visit her often. You earlier said how your mom is your rock. Remember she also needs to see you continue to be strong. There’s so many people just sharing on this site that care about you. Keep Praying! Inside your as strong and powerful as any of those Luxury Ships u send people on. Remember in like 11 & a half months were both going to celebrate a year being SOBER!!! (Just 3 days apart)
Well done hun, your doing fantastic, emotions come to the forefront when we stop using, this is good it shows how far you have come already, selfish is what we have to be to stay sober, I to have been very flat at times and highly emotional, I’m 8 weeks and 1 day nearly, first month was hard but a day at a time and a determination to keep going is the key, stay strong, keep up your doing amazing xxx
Hey guys! I decided to take a little break from the phone today and be one with the moment. I spent the majority of the day on the beach in Ft. Lauderdale. What an insanely gorgeous day it was and the ocean was amazing! Had a little time to reflect and realize I need to get over my stuff. I’m in the process of changing my life for so much better and my friends that have passed wouldn’t want me dwelling. Tomorrow is family day with my Aunt. Doing Sunday dinner just like we did growing up and us italians go big!
@marty, I woke up after an hours rest to see your response in an email… you couldn’t have said it any better! I eneded up falling alseep replaying word for word. It means so much having yours & everyone else’s support!! I don’t think I knew we were so close together in sober time. So cool!
@Oliverjava, I appreciate you saying it’s ok to be selfish. The thought has been such a constant battle for me. @Suez, thanks for your words of wisdom as well & thanks @Markm
@Oliverjava, I will definitely pat myself on the back! I do deserve that! I will most definitely start a calendar and I have been running more and more each day. (Except today… today I swam for I dont know… forever!) I haven’t managed to get meditation down just yet but I will try again. Thanks again for the great ideas!
Morning My Italian Stallion,
I’m glad I could help ya finally get some sleep! Thks for the kind words. I’m very jealous u can just go to the beach like that. I don’t know if I can make it through a fall/Winter in WI SOBER.
Enjoy your family today & keep smiling girl!!
K girl, We got this… one day @ a time. Wish me luck I’m going to watch the Green Bay Packers game in the bar with friends for a bit (I can’t quit friends & drinking all together ) but I’m really going to miss my bloody mary today…
Peace
Hey girl, Well it was nice to see the pack beat FL,sorry I had to get that in. I ended up changing my mind & just did things around the house and took my dog for a hike. I’m kinda happy that’s how it worked out
How was the family time? Did ya spend some time with your Aunt?
Good to hear from u…
Here we go… so A) only FOUR points behind & B) No1 in south fl actually cares about the Jagz LOL. So now that I’ve made no point what so ever , I’m really glad you stayed home!!! I feel like that would be like me going to my dealer’s house to hangout.
Anyway, fam time was good minus the entire topic of converation was, when I die and when I’m dead. She tried to give me her wedding ring. I told her you’re not dead yet so hold onto it. Was a bit intense but it was good to spend time her!
I’m sad for u having to go through that, u know I can relate with my folks who both died of cancer. I’m very happy though that u were able to deal with that kind of situation & not loose it. Last week it seemed like u were on more of a roller coaster. Nice job ! Keep being that Ital. Stal.
It’s certainly not easy but she speaks of it as the next phase instead of the final, so having faith helps a lot. Also, I got 11HRS of sleep last night!! So I’m in a super lazy yet positive mood.
I’ve also been blessed to come from a family with a strong faith, I can’t imagine how hard it is for those without any. Glad ur finally snoozing better
, I’m really glad you stayed home!!! I feel like that would be like me going to my dealer’s house to hangout.