I tried posting in the chat room but fumbled that. I am struggling with suicidal thoughts constantly due to being alone for the first time in over two decades. The only way I can can block out negative thoughts is by getting hammered. Any suggestions would be appreciated
I am sorry in my insensitive response, if you are seriously considering what you are thinking I urge you to contact the lifeline 1-800-273-8255, they also have live chat, this is not a joke this is your life, your worth it to ask for help. Please do.
1 Like
definitely speak w a doctor.
i like the saying “alcohol works until it doesn’t”. for me that meant i blocked out thoughts/emotions w alcohol. this “worked” for me, i just stayed drunk and avoided life entirely. it seemed there was absolutely no other method for me to function because i was so full of fear/anxiety/self hatred/despair/everything shitty. alcohol had been an absolute necessity for quite a while and i was drinking despite wishing i wasnt. i was disappointed daily upon waking up and felt horrible emotionally/mentally/physically. alcohol had stopped “working” for sure.
it has taken a lot of effort and help, and it isn’t great every day. but i am learning to handle life wo liquor. i’m experiencing life instead of drunkenly going through the motions daily. i know you can too.
you are worthwhile and you deserve to be feeling better. glad youre on the forum lots of good folk here 
1 Like
Thanks for the support. I don’t want anyone to feel bad but im at a point where the the only upside is for me to not be here. Yes I’m getting hammered right now but this is only to give me the courage to end it.
You know we aren’t going to take posts like this lightly, drinking is only going to make it worse, and you need to really think about what’s going on, you are making a permanent solution to a temporary problem, this is not how you are going to feel tomorrow, or even 20minutes from now, these feelings pass, please do not continue, I don’t know you, but I beg you, I know it will get better, because I’ve been there
2 Likes
you can call lifeline right now and if possible make a dr appointment in the morning.
1 Like
Please, look at your profile picture before making any permanent decisions… Please reach out for help
1 Like
I just got out of a 15 day rehab. It helped me. If that’s an option available to you
care to talk about anything? i’m just an alcoholic stranger on the internet so don’t worry no judgement from me i promise just putting it out there you can private message if you feel too
1 Like
Please call an ambulance or police so they can get you to some help. The hospital will be able to get you through until morning. You need immediate help that this chat room cannot provide
4 Likes
Talk to us when you can please
What do you mean? I drink to give me the courage to end it. I fucked up everything and now I have to pay the price .
What do you mean? I drink to give me the courage to end it
The price needn’t be your life man! Nothing is worth that! There are other ways! Please…We are all there with you urging you to not hurt yourself…call a helpline that the guys have suggested or dial 911! You deserve it man…
1 Like
Please don’t talk yourself into doing something you can’t reverse. If you need alcohol to give you the courage, then your rational, sober self knows it is not what you really want to do. I was suicidal also, feeling that everyone would be better off if I weren’t around. Alcohol only enhanced these feelings and made me more depressed. I speak from experience that things will change and get better over time. It may take a while and it will be hard but you will not regret it. Feel free to message me if you feel like it.
1 Like
Gym! Exercise. Eating healthy, sleeping well, psychologist, meds if needed, reading, listening to music, goal setting, doing something you use to get enjoy from-hobbies, treating yourself, crying or screaming letting it all out. These are just a few ideas. I get it, ive been there and some days I still get down. I get that when you are are depressed you just have no energy and don’t want to do anything. But sit in uncomfortable, do something anything. And slowly you will start to feel a little better. Hang in there. Thinking of you.
1 Like
I mean this doesn’t have to be the end, you can get through this if you allow yourself to breathe and knowing this feeling is temporary, I’ve had that feeling many times, and every time that feeling went away, it takes work, but all of us here believe in you, you have to believe in yourself, please just sleep on it or call the help line or 911 it will get better I promise if you take the first step to reach out for help
1 Like
Don’t give in to that. It’s dumb. Weak.
I thought of this several times… and proud and happy I didn’t do it. It was not worth it whatever i was going thru.
Id rather suffer the consequences be it divorce, being homeless or prison then to off myself.
Just being real
1 Like
Lee, My name is Tiffany. I volunteer at a crisis center and work a suicide hotline. You have reached out for help, and you are brave for that. Thank you for confiding with those of us in this group. If u will call the national hotline, they will help you. Number is 1-800-273-8255. If you Google it, u can online chat or even text about things. If u want to communicate thru direct message, I’m here to try to help. I’ll message you, n you choose to reply or not. If things are even worse now, consider calling 911 now or going to ER now. I’ll message you directly. Pls do me a favor, and do not kill yourself. Love from Alabama.
4 Likes
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I once found myself “alone” as well. I was a married serviceman stationed overseas. I had my family with me. My 8 year marriage disintegrated about a year after we transferred, we separated, and my wife and son moved back to the US. I had to remain overseas to complete my assigned 3-year tour. This was one of the lowest points of my entire life. I remember being distraught, wrecked emotionally, and was physically and emotionally isolated. I had all kinds of negative thoughts, including thoughts of suicide. This is when I started “drinking with a purpose” to deaden the pain. In hindsight, it only delayed the grieving.
I learned to live again, over the next two years. I made the strongest friendships of my entire life during this period, and many are still my “brothers” to this day, 25 years later. When my tour was up, I decided to end my 14 year military career, and try something radically new. New civilian life and career. 1 year after leaving the service, I met a wonderful woman, married her 1 year after that. We have 19 years of happy marriage, and a daughter together. My relationship with my son from my first marriage is fantastic.
Have you seen the movie “Castaway” with Tom Hanks? There is a great message in there. He survived a tragedy. Was cut off from everyone, especially the woman he loved. He struggled with daily survival, and was just “existing”. His only companion, a vollyball. He’d even thought to try suicide. The one day, a piece of a porta-john washes in from the tide, which becomes the key to his escape and eventual rescue. He returns home, only to learn that the woman he loves has moved on with her life. He’s lost again, but has learned how to survive, and in the end, standing at a crossroads is offered a chance at new love.
Chuck Noland: “We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and… knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had… lost her. 'cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So… I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn’t even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over nothing. And that’s when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that’s what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I’m back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass… And I’ve lost her all over again. I’m so sad that I don’t have Kelly. But I’m so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?”
Yes, it’s a movie, but it’s one that I identify with, based on my own experiences. I occasionally picture myself sitting alone in my “Bachelor Quarters” after having had a family home. I think, “what if I had given in to despair, and checked-out permanently?” I know the answer. I wouldn’t have experienced the life I’ve had since. It’s had its ups and downs, but I have to tell you, the ups have been worth every down. Joys more numerous than tears.
Hang in there. There’s life around the corner. You just can’t see it, because it’s around the corner. And here, on this forum, you are not alone.
2 Likes