I’m in the early stages of recovery - 19 days sober - no PMO. I have this constant need to have someone in my life, to begin dating again and hope to find a girlfriend. At the same time, this just feels wrong, to soon, due to my current condition. My emotions are still desensitized/numb and I still crave sexual contact badly. What are your thoughts on this? Wait until I have this addiction further under control?
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I would say this is your addict mind playing tricks on you.
Good luck, you seem to be aware that it’s happening keep it like that 
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Have you read Codependent no more by Melody Beattie?
This may be helpful.
Like with anything, look for the similarities.
Probably best to go with the thoughts of staying away from it.
As an alcoholic, I stayed away from booze until I felt strong enough to be around it without it affecting me.
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Hey Peter,
For any addiction, adding a new relationship during early is a often a recipe for disaster.
But with PMO, there is an additional concern. Many women would not be very understanding if you acted out during the relationship. Thoughts of betrayal and the question of, “Am I not enough?” would enter their minds.
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Absolutely no dating while craving. That is the decision I made for myself.
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Could you share your reasons?
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Is this question for me?
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Yes, RGB. It you don’t mind.
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2500+ days sober from sex and love addiction here. I have to agree with @anon12657779 and @KevinesKay.
Most sex addiction recovery programs suggest at least one year of no compulsive/addictive behavior before dating. Starting a relationship with a very short amount of recovery time from an intimacy disorder like sex addiction is a recipe for disaster.
Have you run this by a therapist? This could give way better insight, especially talking with a sex addiction/relationship specialist.
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You said it yourself. Let’s focus on one reason. A man can, should, and must control his lust/libido. Women do not exist for this purpose. You cannot break free from addiction until you embrace this truth. I used to think having a girlfriend and focusing my lust on her would save me. That doesn’t work. It doesn’t solve anything. Then you have the additional stress of doing and saying the right things to keep the relationship healthy while keeping your “needs” satisfied. You know this won’t work. I bet you’ve tried before.
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Thanks for the reply. I just needed someone to state this, even if it sounds self evident. Chasing girls while recovering from s. addiction is clearly a no no. What I wasnt expecting was how long it will take. One year sounds like soooooo long!
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If you don’t want to hurt others and yourself wait until you don’t need others but instead you are ready to love. I strongly recommend the book: Don’t call it love by Dr. Patrick Carnes. You will understand what I mean
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[quote=“BurningSlowly, post:11, topic:79419”]
One year sounds like soooooo long!
I’d rather be alone temporarily by choice trying to self-heal instead of being alone and hurting because of a bad breakup.
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