Hello Everyone. Just thought I would write on here and maybe just maybe it will help me from wanting to get high. Having a super super hard time the last 2 days. Its literally all I think about. My stress level is so high for some reason I’m very irritable and crabby and I keep telling myself I will feel better if I just go take a few pills. If I do though then there goes 15 days. I start IOP next week. I’ve tried getting away, going for a drive, walking, sleeping everything… I even had a using dream last night. Idk what else to do 
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Stay strong! At my 15 days clean, I still felt like absolute death. Now, at 109 days, I still get triggers and cravings. That will never change for us addicts. But we learn to be stronger than our thoughts. We gain a little bit more strength with every passing day we get under our belts. Somewhere I heard something that really helped me, might help you, too… it was something along the lines of cravings… you’re craving something that will bring you temporary pleasure. But we confuse pleasure with real happiness. Sure, it’ll bring you pleasure while you’re high, forgetting the world. But that will wear away and well be back where we started. It’s not lasting. It’s sure as hell not improving our life. And it’s not happiness. Idk, it stuck with me. I hope this helps at all! 
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Congrats on 15 days!! Keep using positive distractions and find healthy ways to blow off steam. Be kind to yourself. Break the days down into hours or minutes. Using in dreams is bothersome and can be scary but they will get easier to control in time.
Hang in there buddy
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Hey, I feel you, I’m 45 days free from the hell of oxycodone addiction (officially 45 days tonight at 8pm) my current longest streak up until tomorrow is 45 days, I would of never gotten to the point of hitting my old sobriety goal if it wasn’t for kratom. Kratom has helped 90% of my withdrawls, mostly physical, but also helped my mental state of mind while withdrawing, if you feel as if your not going to make it, please do research on your own before going out to buy some, and if you do buy some, do NOT get it from a smoke shop or gas station, but a reputable vendor, it’s helped me tremendously to get me where I am today, and now if I skip days of taking kratom I do not withdraw, no back pain, no sweats but freezing at the same time, no runny nose, very little depression (paws is longer lasting than physical withdrawls), I hope this information helps!
I know for me that the disease of addiction is two fold
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Physical Allergy of the body that creates the most terrible feeling in the world “the phenomenon of craving”.
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Mental obsession that also creates the most terrible thing in the world which is isolation. Isolation makes me think there is nowhere but oblivion.
I found it comforting to sit in a meeting of AA and listen to others with the same affliction and how they got through the first 90 days. I can only tell you things get better if you walk through this. It goes away and the real you blossoms through the pain.
Stay strong and you can do this!
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Great to see you back.
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Wish you could tell my ex that. Heart breaking watching the man I use to love slowly kill him self. It’s because it’s fun getting high. But it’s destroying him. Its destroyed us.
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Great! Been opening a new restaurant so things have been a bit crazy! Missed you guys big time!
Hi. I’m 51 days sober. All I can think about now is getting a drink. My gf is sleeping on the sofa right now. She got chilled out with some weed. I’ve been taking my diazepam to help me relax. But I just want to escape. 
Escape from What?
Have you written out your fears?
They are just bogeyman truing to pull you into the abyss. They are not real. If I am a problem person I will have problems. If I am a solution person I will find solutions.
Which one will I be today?
Write down 6 thijngs youh are greatful for today. Right now. Even if it is your sheets. Stay positive and watch how your brain chemistry changes to a solution.
Only then will you see how addiction in a mind powered disease that is all driven by perspective. The addict side wants you to feel like shit so you use.
Don’t do what it wants. There is another version of you sitting right there on the same couch. That can be activated by helping others and getting out of that self obsessed state of being.
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Consulting Gig…super yummy Asian Tapas set to open Monday and its all on my shoulders. Love love love the restaurant crazy energy but man close to Opening and the first few days are rough.
Drinking on valium is super dangerous! Don’t do it! There, now you CAN’T drink! 
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So i was extremely close to relapse today, even had moments of anxiety and tears BUT i managed not to. Drove past all my local shops that I used to buy my alcohol in. I then basically re arranged my whole living room and threw out LOADS of stuff. It took me nearly 8 hours but damn did it help!
Im just tired now. Cravings are all but gone and hopefully ill have a decent nights sleep but in my 12 days of sobriety todays cravings or need was off the charts.
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