Not again!

So, just under a year ago I got the best job I’ve ever had. Promised myself I would change, stop drinking, get healthy, etc. Last night I fancied a drink, even talked my fiancé into drinking with me. Manage to get through an entire bottle of vodka in a couple of hours. Couldn’t work today as I felt so ill. Another sick day due to booze. Now I just feel really angry with myself that this has happened AGAIN. Why can’t I just stop and stay stopped.
Feeling utterly rubbish physically and emotionally.
I really admire everyone on here who is managing to quit and stay sober. I long to be like you and hope to stop hating myself soon.

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Thank you I’m ordering that book now!

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Hi there ! It’s great your here reaching out for help. I think many of us here have done the same as you… not sure if there’s any meetings open in your area u could try I find aa really helps it’s nice to connect with people who understand what your going through. There’s also online meetings u could try .

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Thank you. I’ve been reading all the messages on this Forum and I’m so glad to have found this place. Real people, with real experience and totally honest about what they’ve been through. I’ll look into meetings but I’m a bit nervous and not sure what to expect. I will try though. I have to sort myself out. Enough is enough

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Thank you, well done on 8 months, that’s awesome!
I guess we just have to keep trying. Just ordered that book! :blush:

Wow really, that’s terrible. Thank you for telling me.
I always chose vodka because it’s lower in calories. Ridiculous really when you think about it. Calories should be the least of my worries!

Welcome back!! Good to see you are working to get back on track. Lots to catch up on!! :heart:

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Thank you @SassyRocks. Everyone here is great. Not sure what I would have done today if I couldn’t reach out on here. Just sat alone, hating myself and feeling negative.

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Coming here and reading and reaching out is such a positive thing to do for yourself…and the forum is available 24/7…another win!

I felt this is my soul!!!

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Yes, could have been worse! :hugs:
When I think of some of the embarrassing things I’ve done when drunk, I think the list must be endless. Well done for using it as motivation to move forward instead though. That takes courage

How I see it if you want it that badly your try anything atleast once,I really hope you find that place of not fighting it and just letting it all go ,allow yourself to feel those horrid emotions BC after you get past that it does become easier .I understand I know that feeling of telling myself tomorrow is the day I did this for over a decade .keep moving forward as we do learn from every attempt.:blue_heart:your in the right place but try to get outside supppport aswell .

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i want to thank you for sharing this. during any intense negative thoughts i’ve had, i’ve thought about how i would have to call out of work no doubt and feel absolutely miserable - those premonitions push the addictive thoughts away because i value the hell outta my job. your share solidifies what an absolute mistake it would be.

hugs to you and fight on. stock up on fizzy water and when you have a craving, grab one of those and take yourself for a walk. write down how you’re feeling right now and reference that.

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Thank you @claire-lo. I really need to get past this and be better. I really don’t like the person I’ve become and want/need to change x

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