Not cool! What happened last night!

So tonight I attempted to attend a meeting (held in church building). Got the info. off their calender on website. The building/door it was supposed to be held had cobwebs on it like it hadn’t been opened in awhile and no one answered my knocks - walked around for 10 min. in hopes of finding ANYONE to ask, and not soul. This is my 2ND failed attempt at trying to go to my very 1ST meeting (the other time the guy never emailed me back to tell me room number!!) and I don’t really believe in signs but, like, come on…drove away thinking, what else, DRINKS! Drove home. Walked in the door. Grabbed laptop. I know for a fact I would not be on day 10 for the first time in over 15+ years if it wasn’t for this forum. Just trying to get out my emotions right now so I don’t go do it elsewhere…continued thanks to all.

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Very positive step,going home and coming here. May not be an official meeting,but a far sight better than the other option you considered doing. Keep it up,great job.

Hope for the best, expect the worse. I’ve been saying that for years. You get less disappointed that way. Especially with people. I HOPE they will do the right thing. But completly Expect them to not.

Ha. Shows my faith in people :grimacing:

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@NewFuture - you’re right! This a meeting of sorts. And thx for the support!

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Maybe you can give what city you are looking for and by chance someone here can help you. I’m sorry you are having such terrible luck. My experience with some of the online meetings information has been less than helpful but some are spot on.

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Lol very true.

How are you feeling? Fantastic job at resisting the urge!!! Some days are harder than others and you have to punch them days in the face and take control.

@Kmills888 - Thank u! Yeah, definitely would like punch today the face. Still working on the taking control portion in general but, today I can say strong temptation has been averted. Hoorah!
@C-sun - so the AA’s program general website for the state VA just provides a giant list of email addresses under their contacts. And the “online intergroup” gives me a form to complete. What am I missing? Or are they just trying to make me work harder for this haha, kidding.

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I probably wouldn’t have found a number if left to my own devices so, thank you! You’re the best!! I’m in Alexandria but, I’ll def still call them. New day and new desire to try again. 3rd times the charm? Happy Sat :coffee:

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I’m almost on day 4 of sobriety and 2 and half out of these four days have been hell. I literally have to do everything in my power to restrain myself. For instance, I really, really, really, want a drink right now - my anxiety has spiked today and I feel like the only thing that will help me is having a drink. What is keeping me from taking that drink, honestly, is the shame and guilt I know I will feel if I have to reset my timer. I have had the same thoughts as you, if I reset my timer, no one will know except me. But that’s the whole point, isn’t it? I will know. I’ve taken about 3 long walks today (20 minutes each), did some deep breathing, repeat affirmations to myself, and listened to music. It’s helped earlier throughout the day but as I’m sitting here writing this, I feel this intense urge to drink. It’s overwhelming but again, I keep thinking about how horrible I will feel if I have to that timer. It takes such will power and mental strength to get through these cravings but it is possible, as you know :slight_smile:

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Hang in there!!! At first I wanted to scratch my face off, every second hurt my face!!! I wanted to give up and get that buzz on! The first week is pretty intense but you can get thru it. I keep myself busy with something that is fun when cravings get intense. Replace the crave with something fun that way it doesn’t feel like a chore. Punch this craving in the face and tell it to fuck off!!!

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I’m at three weeks now and I felt the same way some days. Keep in mind how good it will feel when you get to certain milestones. Reward yourself with something else for success. You can do this. Everyone here knows you can because everyone here didn’t think they could at one point and did. Everyone here had doubters and they’ve been proven wrong. Keep that in mind

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Oh man! I was really worried about last night! It was the second time I’ve been home alone and that’s the hardest time for me. From the second I woke up the thoughts that ran thru my head…

  • am I gonna drink tonight?
  • is it going to be a bottle, or beer?
  • what room should I drink in in case someone comes home?
  • what if I drink beer and accidentally leave a can sitting somewhere
  • what if someone smells it on me
    -I’m having breakfast with some family the next day, what do I do if I oversleep, what do I tell them!
  • what if I make it to bfast and have to throw up, or even worse… have to go to the “bathroom” lol ew
  • What if I were to come here and drunk text
  • would I reset my timer?
  • would I tell anyone?
  • if I drink what am I going to do around the house? (Can’t be too obvious on what we choose! If I end up organizing an entire room it might get questioned)
  • is this going to be the start of a downward spiral?
  • if I get beer… should I get a 12 pack? Or a bunch of tall boys because there would be less cans to hide if I get tall boys
  • where would I put my alcohol trash?

I circled thru these thoughts every hour, multiple times an hour. I was almost positive I wasn’t going to be able to make these thoughts stop until I had a drink but, I did it. I didn’t drink. I woke up this morning with tears in my eyes because I was so happy that I made it thru an extremely trying day! I woke up this morning at 6am and feeling physically amazing and clear headed. Most importantly I woke up this morning on my 46th sober day and I didn’t fuck up my set goal of 50 days.

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Thanks for sharing those details. We’ve all been there. We can all out trick the sickness or so we think. This Friday I did some late night grocery shopping to cut into what typically would be drinking time. That may become a new habit for me, it certainly took off the edge and craving.

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Proud of you! Way to stay strong.

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I love you for your response😍 I’m definitely in this for the long haul tho. I like to set mini achievable milestones to help me along the way and day 50 is one of those. Sorry if I came across as that was my last sober day. I’m a lifer and you guys are stuck with me because I’m not going anywhere.

As an alocholic there is no moderation. One is too many and a thousand isn’t enough.

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That sounds like a fun Friday night if you ask me! I love grocery shopping, especially when there’s nobody in the store.

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I’m so proud of you!! You beat it! You stayed strong and you got through it. You woke up refreshed and now can start a brand new day :heart:

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I set goals, too this time! My original goal was to pay for a vacation, and i gave myself 208 days to do it. I paid for the vacation by day 104. I am 167 days sober, and my extended goal is a full year. I will celebrate day 208 with cake!

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Nice! What kind of vacation? And I’m with you on this whole cake thing, I think we should celebrate every day sober with cake!!!

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