Im a sex, love, and pornography addict. I dont see much of these kind of addicts on this app but regardless I still find quite a but of help from every one who replies. I’ve been addicted for more than half my life. It’s really taken a lot from me. I was engaged at one point. Anyway, the pornography is kinda a hard thing to beat just because of how accessible it is… like you’ve got an infinite supply in your pocket most times. Sex itself is easy to avoid because I see maybe 1 woman a week where I live and I ain’t gay so not really any opportunity to sin, which is good I think. Love though, that’s definitely my biggest concern. Love is this great thing and its beautiful and good and really necessary, to a point. But i’ve got kind of a dependency for it. It’s a rough one to address as well because like where should I draw the line? How fast is okay? Am I even ready to love someone truly? I keep downloading these stupid dating apps thinking I’m ready and that’s my relapse because I’m not ready. I see a woman and she looks at me, maybe double takes, and I think, oh, she’s into me. Im gonna marry her. And that’s a relapse. Idk. I just need advice on like not feeding temptations I guess.
Sorry, what do you mean by “I ain’t gay so not really any opportunity to sin”?
If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, than this is highly offensive. This forum is a safe space for all members, including all genders, ethnicities, sexual orientations, and socioeconomic backgrounds.
I don’t think that is what he was trying to say. I think the rest of the sentence explains what he was meaning to try to say. He doesn’t see women often, and isn’t attracted to men; the combination of the two means he doesn’t have sexual opertunities where he feels tempted to fall into his addiction.
I mean, I definitely can’t speak for him. I also am definitely not taking any one side. But I just wanted to share the way that I had read it, so that maybe it would help those who come across this like we have (because it did come off weird, but I think I understood what he was trying to say).
Again, I am not taking any side here. I just read it differently, that is all 
Regarding this part of your post, something that helps me is to not give your addiction more power than it already has.
I, personally, relapse more often when I think about my addiction more. If I think about how much I want it, and find the “pros” in the action, I tend to go back to those behaviors looking for the pros that don’t exist. If, instead, I focus on how much better my life is now that I have changed my life for the better, and remember all the cons that come with the addiction, I find myself staying on the new and improved path of life that I truly wish to be on.
So, my advice on not feeding additions: see what you can do to keep focused on the truths (and definitely don’t buy the lies of the addiction).
No just like im not gay and I’m only around men so I’m not tempted to have sex. There im not saying anything against gays. Sorry for the confusion.
Turning to god for help in prayer is the strongest thing you can do. I cannot stress much more how much he has helped me in my life. Draw close to god and he will draw close to you. And to draw close to someone the first step is knowing the persons name an personal characteristics an likes an dont likes… (Study) Go to Jw.org it is translated to easily understand the bible our creators words for us 2019ers… Study the bible literature an u can even pin point topics as pornography an sex addict on jw online library. It will give you support and options bible based. If this addiction is something you want to get control of i recommend the above… Hope the best in ur recovery!!
I read the comment to mean that where he lives, there’s a high ratio of males to females, and since he’s a straight Male, there’s less opportunity to fornicate, which he considers a sin. I didn’t read this as commentary on the morality of same-sex relationships.
Of course, I could be reading it wrong.
My advice to you is to change your definition of “Love”. Love isn’t a feeling you get when you look upon someone you are attracted to. It’s not how they make you feel. Love is action, it’s what you do for them to make their life better. It’s about making them feel cherished, important, valued, respected, secure, and desired.
I can have all the “feelings” in the world for my bride of 20 years, but if I don’t demonstrate daily that she’s the most important person in my life, that I would be so much less without her, then I am not loving her.
Thank you for the clarification 
Thank you
I’ve never heard that saying before, so my translation was very literal 
Context and punctuation matter. Consider this:
Woman, without her man, is nothing.
Woman: without her, man is nothing.
Same words. Different punctuation. Different meanings.
Context
Today is my 2Oth anniversary, and I am married to a wonderful woman. Woman: without her, man is nothing.
An all-female workplace is inefficient. Woman with out her man, is nothing.
Same words placed in different context, very different meanings.
Oh, today is my 20th anniversary. While I am more than nothing on my own, I would be much less without my bride. I lucked out, and I know it.
Hey Ramen,
My biggest piece of advice would be to purchase a book called Breaking the Cycle by George Collins. It really helped me at the start of my journey and I still reference it regularly.
If you really want to see this situation you’re in more clearly, make the choice not to use. Whether it’s porn or dating apps, you know where they lead.
There are stimuli out there that make us crave that outlet and acceptance that porn or affirmations from others offer. However, it’s always a choice to use or to compromise out values to suit others. Wake up every day and set your intention. Today, I will not use porn or dating apps. Maybe tomorrow, but not today.
As you go further into sobriety you’ll find that the brain fog begins to clear. Inevitably, there will be bad days and difficult feelings as you go along. Process these emotions as they come. Identify their roots and then begin to address them in manageable bites.
After you feel strong in sobriety and you are seeing things clearly, it might be time to consider dating(maybe 6 months to a year). However, I would caution you that using dating apps are probably a slippery slope. Nothing against people who use it, but it might not be the right place for someone with sex-based addiction to find a relationship.
You need to work on your relationship with yourself first. You need to see your own worth before someone else will see it. You need to understand your own value so that no one else can diminish it. Once you’re in that place, you become magnetic. People flock to that energy.
The path to that place is through sobriety. Learn to treat yourself with compassion.
Giving in to lust does bring momentary pleasure but it corrodes us. We spend our life force unwisely. When we’re doing that, it’s never love. Only self gratification by chasing the high of orgasm. That chips away at us and leaves our cup empty. We have nothing to give because we’re always taking. Begin to build a life where you do things that you are proud of. Do things to make sure your cup is full, so that your side of the fence is clean and inviting. Exercise, career, meetings, relationships, etc, etc, etc. Focus on figuring out how to do that work and, soon enough, the time will be right to start the next phase of your journey walking next to someone who is also standing on their own two feet. Jumping into a relationship at this point would likely result in two drowning people trying to save each other. If you’re barely treading water as it is, you’re susceptible to being dragged under yourself.
Love this 
Happy anniversary my friend! I too am in love with my brilliant supportive lady, and every day I show her. 28 years I’ve been doing this and I never get tired doing it.
She tells me to piss of most of the time!!
I go on an adult app and it is like I can’t stop checking to
See if I get a message. It is like a message
From a swinger or someone who is always on the site makes me feel loved or popular. Then I watch the videos of real people doing immoral even dangerous things to relive my stress or
Loneliness at the end of a day. I delete my account one one day and restore it the next day. These sites know they are dealing with addicts.
If you dont currently have the self control to stop being on these apps and sites, it may be time to find a better solution. That could be checking out a meeting, or installing blockers on your devices.
Whatever it is, it must be different from what you’re doing; because it seems that your methods havent been working that well.
That is true. I live in a place where meetings are available.