Well let’s see… I still don’t know if I’d consider myself an alcoholic but maybe that’s part of the problem. I drink when I’m overwhelmed with chores and when my back really hurts and when we have company over. I would try to make up excuses to drink. To me drinking made everything better but I knew deep down it didn’t. I would get angry with my fiancé sometimes and I’ve gained weight as well and I know I could be healthier I used to be and would go to the gym. When I drink now I don’t feel much like doing anything. So here I am 4 days in with no alcohol and didn’t touch a drop on new year’s though I was making excuses to just have one or two but didn’t. My mind and body we’re telling me it’s time to take a break. My dad is a big alcoholic and my mom who is in heaven now would always worry about me becoming one too and I fear I have. I’m taking back over my life now and want to treat my body better. She is a big motivation in this too. I’d like to make her proud of my life now.
Congrats on taking the first step and welcome to the sober life 
it’s a great life! I’m officially 50 days sober today and it wasn’t easy. I would definitely recommend AA only because it worked so much for me. The people there are so nice and welcoming and they don’t judge. Anyway, good luck on your journey!
Welcome @Malinda_Lopez!
For me, it was actually a huge relief to tell someone that “I’m an alcoholic.” Once I did that it was like a weight had lifted and the light flipped on. Your story sounds similar to mine. I always found an excuse to drink. Happy, sad, stressed, someone died, someone had a birthday, pet died, promotion, guests coming, reward for cleaning house, etc. Really my excuse was life. I didn’t want to live unless drinking accompanied whatever I was doing or not doing really.
Congrats on your 4 days.
Welcome!congrats on your 4 days thats awesome.
I used to deny being an alcoholic because I thought I could get a handle on it one day.
For me I know Im an alcoholic because like you I would try to find excuses to drink. I thought it made everything better as well. Then one day I just got honest with myself… finding excuses to drink is a sign of addiction. You know what though?I find it easier to breathe admiting this to myself and others. I constantly felt like I was suffocating under the weight of my “secret”. This heavy denial was ruining my health, relationships and my ability to enjoy life and grow emotionally.I actually would get genuinely upset if my hubsand or someone didnt want to drink, or didnt want to drink MORE because I always want MORE. It cosumes me once I even take one drink.
Anyway, you dont have to admit anything if you dont want to but I want you to know we are all here and we understand where you are coming from.
My grandpa and many of my cousins are alcoholics and you know what I sympathize with them I don’t look down on them I know how hard it is to fight that battle in your mind. Sometimes it just feels easier to give in.&It is easier I think. Choosing sobriety is hard, but it makes you stronger and its WORTH IT.
Welcome! This is a warm, safe place. You will love it here 
️
You know what you are right. After admitting that I have a problem I felt a little better and that I can finally address the problem. It’s so nice to talk to people who understand how I feel. I can relate to the always wanting more and more one drink is not a thing with me. Which is why I decided to just stop completely. Nice to have support here. Even little thing’s like this help.
Sometimes I’ll feel sorry for myself and ask why I can’t just have a beer, or A glass of wine. Then I realize that 1 of anything doesn’t sound appealing to me. I want 10, I can’t have just 1.
For me that mentality sometimes helps with the cravings. Just 1 sounds lame and wouldn’t do anything for me. Helps with not taking that first drink at all.
Im so happy you found this place then. I was a few days sober when I found this app a few months ago I think it was sometime in August or September… my journey has had its ups and downs but I have found that I am able to be really honest with people in here and have found out Im not alone in the way i drink, the things I think about that have to do with drinking, hiding my drinking …ect.
Sometimes sharing with family or friends that I dont want to drink anymore can be hard some people think everyone has the ability to limit themself. Im right there with you, I have to just stop completely.
I wish you the best of luck and try to take it one day at a time 
Lol you nailed it.That is so true. Ill never get how people enjoy just one.Even when Ive tried it didnt work I still want more and the second someone says want another I ALWAYS say yes. It would make me anxious waiting for them to say lets get another and when they didnt Id feel embarassed thinking wtf how do they do that??
Anyway none at all is the better path, it doesnt lead to a dead end like the other roads.
Great thread. Thanks for sharing @Elisabeth and @Restlesssoul. Could NEVER have one. And this lead to being unable to have none. Scary to think where we were headed. What is the next part? I’m glad I won’t have to find out. Hopefully we are all off the road leading to the early ‘dead end’.
I can so relate to this. I always found a reason to drink. Lol. My late father and brotherson are alcoholics/addicts and I’m trying to get a grip too. I am taking the year off from alcohol. Good luck to you! We got this!