I grew up in a small country town, lower middle class, with not much to do. My childhood was pretty normal. I played sports, never really wanted for anything, and I didn’t experience any major trauma. But I always felt like something was missing. I didn’t have the best relationship with my father, and my mom was very protective. Looking back, I always felt like I was searching for something.
When I got to college, I started partying. I did my first line of cocaine, and the rest is history.
My entire twenties are a blur. I was high every single day.
At 28, I got sober long enough to earn my CDL and started driving truck. But every time I came home, I’d go right back to using. I met my wife. We had kids. We bought a house. From the outside, it looked like life was coming together.
Inside, nothing had changed.
There was still this empty hole in me that I couldn’t explain.
My addiction kept getting worse. I smoked crack. I injected cocaine. Eventually, I started using heroin. In March of 2024, I overdosed.
I had lost everything—my house, my family, my career. Even that wasn’t enough to make me stop.
A few weeks later, something happened that completely changed my life. I can’t fully explain it. Maybe it was God. Maybe it was the spiritual awakening I desperately needed. Whatever it was, it changed me.
I started reading Scripture. I went to church. I took my faith seriously. I stayed sober for two and a half years.
Then, 27 days ago, I relapsed.
For months before that, I had been drowning in depression. I didn’t know how to live with the lows because for twenty years, I never had to. Whenever life got hard, I got high.
I fought it every day.
But addiction is relentless.
Eventually, I broke.
As painful as that relapse was, it taught me something I desperately needed to learn: my recovery depends just as much on my mental health as it does on my sobriety. I can’t ignore either one.
The depression scared me more than the drugs ever did. It was dark. So dark. Most days, I still don’t want to be here. But my faith and my kids keep me taking one more step.
That’s all I try to do now.
Just today.
Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow isn’t promised. Right now is all I have.
When I stay focused on God, take care of my mind, and do the next right thing, life becomes manageable again.
I’m grateful I found this app because I don’t want to fight this battle alone anymore. If my story helps even one person feel less alone, then every word is worth sharing.
If you’re struggling today, don’t give up. You’re not alone.
One day. One hour. One moment at a time.
God bless.
