Welcome Michelle. My name is Lisa and it’s nice to meet you. Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like you’re in a much better place now and we’re all here to support and help you stay in that good place. I look forward to following your journey. You should join us on the daily check in thread, it’s a great form of accountability. Here’s the link. Checking in daily to maintain focus #16
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Hi @IwillOVERCOME, wow, thanks for your reply! I’m very glad you’re already in therapy and “on it”, on what I meantioned re the reasons and understanding ourselves. Also: no need at all to post your super private and hurting things here for all to see, this is a safe space and you share what you want only, of course! 
The beginning of my therapy pretty much like yours slightly overlapped with my decision/opputunity to become sober, which I am eternally grateful for that plus I do not think this is total coincidence. I think that as soon as I knew I had my therapist and place with her “safe”, I was more ready to let go of the only thing I’d had before, the drink. Like you, I’ve sat in that office drunk on vodka at the start. Had to come clean on that to her. 
Chapeau to you though, even I didn’t have the boldness to BRING THE CUP WITH ME!! 🤦 
feel free to message me anytime! I look forward to hearing from you.
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Hi Michelle and welcome to the community, I’m sure that you will already have been given some tips from the other absolutely awesome people that we have here but congratulations on taking that first step which is also probably the hardest one to take. I hope to see more of you around here.
Way to go on your 38 days also. 
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Thank you for this. Your vulnerability is helping me. I’m on day 5 going into the long weekend. I had a big heart to heart with my daughter last night about my drinking and the alcoholism that runs rampant in my family. I can do this. Thank you for helping me with your story. 
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Way to go! We do this one day at a time. Congrats on getting selected to your NP program. Like you, my drinking was always outside of clinic. But, my actions (a couple jailed weekends) made it a clear they needed to be involved. If you’re interested in what happens to an alcoholic provider in regards to Dept. Of Health and the other licensing bodies, just ask. Stick with this healthy, and way happier way of life. And, we have a place to help others heal too as this damn disease is everywhere. Hugs
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Hi Edmund. Thanks you for being patient for my reply. And thank you. Yes. It is. I personally honestly made the decision to avoid any type of AA meetings. I had to attend some through nursing school as a requirement for one of my courses and the idea of it just puts a bitter taste in my mouth. I know so many that it does and has helped though so by no means am I knocking it…i just feel like it’s not for me. Could that eventually change? It’s possible. But for now I hope to be ok trying to do this how I have been.
Thank you so much! I do wish the same for you as well!
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Hi @Lisa07! Its nice to meet you! Thank you for reading my story. Thank you for the support, it means so much to me.
Thank you for the link to the thread! I will take a look at it!
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Hi @anon13078412! Thank you! And yes, everyone has been so awesome on here. It is very helpful and comforting to know that there are so many people out there that truly care!
Thank you again!
Hi Michelle, welcome and thank you for sharing. You will meet awesome people here with an endless well of information. I listen to recovery podcasts and come here when i struggle and i do the same when I’m doing good.
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Hi @Boodoo1234! Thanks for reading my story. I’m glad that it is helping you. I have my good days and I have my bad. I’m glad that you talked with your daughter about your struggles and how it has affected you and your family. I can’t even imagine how hard that must have been. I commend you for that! You are welcome. I wish all the best for you on your journey. Feel free to message me any time if you need to. I am trying to get use to this chat thing! It’s very uplifting to read the replies!
Hi @Dan531! Thank you for the welcome! Yes, I have been looking into podcasts and things here recently as well! Thank you for the tip! Good luck to you in every step of your journey!
Hello pal and welcome!
38 days is a long friggin time to stay sober for alcoholics like us.
Keep up the good work.
You got some great stuff from the forum. If I could just add one suggestion. One that I am sure that you will understand because of your profession.
My suggestion is for you to always remember that there is no cure for an alcoholic. Only remission through abstinence.
No amount of sober time will ever make us okay to drink again. No amount of time sober will ever make us be able to control and enjoy our drinking again.
I always bring this up to new people because we have seen literally countless people get a few days, or a few months or even a few years under their belt and then they decide they can drink again. That they were sober long enough. That they were cured!!
The result is always the same. They pick up right where they left off in a very short amount of time.
EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!!
but back to the positive. Lol.
You’re doing great.
Keep coming back!
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Hey @Gabe.G! Thanks for the welcome!
Very valid point and I have actually had this conversation with a couple people I’m close with as they are now understanding why I have been acting odd and avoiding certain situations and whatnot. I am well aware that the minute I pick up that bottle I am royally fucking myself over. It sucks so bad that its like that. But it’s the honest truth. I know that I will struggle. And sadly, I’m pretty sure I will fail and give in at some point. But I’m trying to avoid thinking that way the best I can.
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You are so welcome! There is a freedom in accepting it tho.
Acceptance of the fact that I was an alcoholic was such a relief because it meant I didn’t have to fight any more.
No more internal negotiations with myself. No more futile attempts at moderation.
An alcoholic is by definition someone that has lost the ability to control their drinking. Accepting that and surrendering the fight equaled pure freedom for this old drunk.
You’ll be okay pal. Every day you hit the pillow sober is a win. One day at a time 
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“Acceptance of the fact that I was an alcoholic was such a relief because it meant I didn’t have to fight any more.”
What a powerful statement @Gabe.G!! That REALLY resonates with me.
Thanks. 
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